Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Curious Guys - Save Your Ass

OK so first I’m gonna tell you having your ass fingered hurts at first but after a few minutes it feels pretty freakin nice.  But all that horeseshit u hear on here about ‘oh if u can take a finger u can take a dick’ – BIG DIFFERNCE.  No, I didn’t get dicked in the ass but I’ll tell you you can DEFINITELY FEEL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 1 FINGER AND 2.  When dude went back to 1 finger it was cool…..UNTIL…..suddenly I felt like I had to pee.  I told him and he was like no, it’s just cuz I’m touching your prostate.  I waited a second and I was like ‘DUDE TAKE IT OUT OR IM GONNA PISS ALL OVER YOUR COUCH’.  He did and I ran to the bathroom.  Stood there about 3 minutes.  Nothing.  Ok so here’s what I want you to learn.  I always heard that the prostate was this magic place that sends you into wild orgasm.  Maybe for some guys, but not for all, and definitely not for me.  At some point while hovering over the toilet I was like OK man that’s it.  I walked out and gave some bullshit excuse about having to get back to the office. 


  1. Scott,
    Why would you hook up with someone who doesn't have any respect for boundaries?

    I've spent the last 10 years messing with guys who consider themselves str8. I promise you that I wouldn't have gotten very far if I ever acted like this guy did.

    Some of my boys explore into areas with me that they never thought they would -- BUT I'D LIKE TO THINK that's because I demonstrate patience and understanding
    without crossing the line. The equation is simple, I'M THE PRO and I RESPECT that they are NOT!

    For me, exploring these boundaries is the hottest part of hooking up with rookies, especially as is the case with me, rookies who consider themselves str8. It is a huge turn on to be a part of someone's sexual evolution. Sure, some evolve further than others but to me, it's the equation itself, the power and the reframing of one's idea of "sex" that is hot and I enjoy being a part of that.

    I'm familiar with the items on the man-on-man menu and if I strictly wanted that, I'd go get it. As I'm sure you know, it's everywhere.

    It continues to bother me when I read an account like this. Never have I had an experience that you've described here. Never.

    "Kissing is something I like and I'm a very good kisser." WTF?! You should've told him that knocking out teeth is something YOU like and 'Hey, I'm very good at it.'


  2. Keep playing with that prostate - you'll get past that intense feeling of needing to piss and then you'll just have a real intense feeling. And it is good for the prostate too - you'll be happy you did it when you're 60.

  3. Scott,

    Not a lot of what you've written today sounds like much fun for you. I don't know much about your background and how serious you are about this exploration but this may not be the forum to get all or even most of your advice.

    As I'm sure you've noticed the advice is rather biased and forgive me if I say there seems to be an element egging you on to do things that have consequences for you that are far, far beyond what most of these guys realize or maybe care.

    Is this something you are "curious" about or is this something that you think, if left unexplored, will haunt you? Can you truly be happy in a monogamous straight relationship? If you can't then you need to find out. If you do not intend to leave your marriage eventually you need to grow up and make a choice. That's not going to be popular here but these guys are not the ones that are going to face your wife and kids if this thing blows up.

    The points that TGK made are well and good but "reframing one's idea of sex" really needs to be done, either before you have a wife and a bunch of kids or WITH your wife. Sorry but I don't think you need a volunteer unpaid sexual social worker. A PhD might be more in order.

    My stance has nothing to do with any feelings that being gay or bisexual is wrong. If you are, great. Just be honest with yourself and those who love you. For all the fascination on these sites about masculine traits, I think they sometimes miss the point. Being a man means living with honor. It means taking care of the people who depend on you. Yes, you need to live in a way that completes you but can you do that if you betray the people who love you?

    I really wish you the best. You are never spiteful or mean and your observations are at times absolutely hilarious. Remember, though, that most of us are casual observers. Our lives will not be effected by your choices so take what any of us say with a grain of salt and be careful.

  4. What I would like to know is, can a guy handle safely, an 8 inch thick dick, or is it dangerous for the guy who is taking it?
    Scott, do you think that YOU could handle such a size? Would you try?

  5. OMFG Scott... this post in particular had me howling. You should see what its like when you have 7 or 8 inches of pipe up there. The first time I bottomed I thought I was going to poop. BTW - that's not the experience I was looking for, but like your feeling of needing to pee - my experience isn't unheard of either.

    However, similar to your experience about the finger initially penetrating into virgin territory those feelings of discomfort and bodily fluids pass and when they do.... Holy Cow. I can remember several instances of... well that's a story for another time I suppose.

    Thanks for the post. After watching the C's lose I needed a pick me up.


  6. Hey, I'm just happy bin Laden is swimming with the fish!

  7. OK, I'm going to go out out a limb here and disagree with TGK. (the self described expert on all things pertaining to sex with 'straight' guys.) Scott came to this guy's house. What kind of boundaries were established prior to the exploration? Scott is exploring and here I have to agree with Anon 8:51, (very well stated, BTW, and I think most of the source of my frustration with Scott.) Sorry, Scott. TGK, from all I have read, treads cautiously with his "straight" guys and sets boundaries. This guy obviously thought he a had a curious guy who was willing to explore. Maybe he should have been more "polite" about it, but it really is up to Scott to be clear on what he wants and if it doesn't work, then just graciously decline. It's all a game, that needs rules. Don't forget that you have fingers too, Scott, if you want to know what it feels like before you subject some poor guy to your rejection and leave him with blue balls. I got up to three before I ever let somebody else try it on me.

    Said with love and respect,

  8. MM,

    I agree and that was my point. Scott is no a kid. He's got a good idea about what m/m sex/interaction involves. It should not have come as a total surprise that a hookup might want to kiss or finger him. Not saying he has to but isn't it kinda expected? Scott's discomfort makes me think he's finding definite limits to his adventurousness.

    Don't think that's a criticism. It may be a great thing for both Scott and his family. Hopefully, he'll discover that he checked it out and it wasn't for him. No one gets hurt and Scott won't always wonder.

    I love his honesty. He is a bit of a goof but he's a really charming goof and in a strange way has been pretty courageous. I'd hate to see him hurt.

  9. SCott,

    I LOVE to kiss but my BF does not. I love him more than kissing so I don't put my desire over his. That is how things work.


  10. "At some point while hovering over the toilet I was like OK man that’s it. I walked out and gave some bullshit excuse about having to get back to the office. "


    You really don't want to fool around with a guy. This whole blog thing is a fucking joke.

  11. Donna has a couple of good points.

  12. I'm sorry it didn't work out well for you this time, but I'm confident that you'll be going back for more. Maybe not tomorrow, but some time soon you'll get the itch again.

  13. This is such a broken record. I really do admire you but I can't believe you can't believe the testimonials of your many fans who report it hurts, but in the right mindset it hurts in a way that is so freeing and yummy. Why don't you vow to take all of your fears--kissing, taking it up the back hole, having your ear lobes nibbled, whatever---and just do it I am going through a similar situation with female stuff, and I am just willing to go in and see what happens. I think I will go down on a woman before you take it from a man up your butt. We both have our bridges to cross.

  14. Boy this has got everyone so worked up that nobody has mentioned how fucking hot the guy in the picture is. Donna, I'm not sure if you're the gal who mentioned that the fantasy has become hotter than the reality, but that seems to be where you've come, Scott. When a man presents his willing ass to you and you turn away and when the rubber doesn't meet the ass, maybe it's time to go back to bed with your wife. Just saying. I hope you figure this out, babe, I don't want to see you or your family get hurt by all this. My wife and I split up after 20 years and now she is remarried and I am still trying to find happiness as a gay man. Good luck to you, my friend.

    Sincerely, MM

  15. I think we miss the point a bit. Scott is not gay, nor will he be. It's clear he does not feel the emotional aspect of homosexuality, the part that features nipple-nuzzling and ability to take seven inches that's attached to somebody when no way could you put in something artificial that big. The part that makes you fall in love with your coach or best friend. The kissing part. That's fine - he is certainoly not alone in that department,

    But he does have urges that he'll learn to satisfy. (I greatly doubt that ass-eating will ever be one of them!) For a beginner, I think he's done pretty well. A lot better than I did even without the wife n' kids complications.

    The wonderful news this week is that the prostate is "alive and well." That puts him in the ~75% who can potentially get there the back way. Lucky bastard. Rick SEA

  16. Anonymous 4:29
    You point out an excellent distinction far better than I did. Scott is not gay. I imagine at the very least, that is understood prior to meeting. He's got interest in exploring the ideas of sex and this particular pursuit involves another dude.

    It seems to me that more than once, Scott was experiencing discomfort or apprehension and eventually that became obvious. It also appears Scott's partner needed more than a few subtle cues to appreciate Scott's limits.

    Whether discussed or not, mutually agreed upon boundaries or not, if a dude with boner is gonna peace-out of a situation rather than bust -- I'm gonna conclude that vibe wasn't good.

    And I don't think the room's temperature was limited to a few pause moments from Scott. He's had pause moments before but in more comfortable settings and with a considerate partner, he's demonstrated more openness.


  17. some of the shit u guys say really hits home and i apprecaite it. i never been accused of being the great communicator. as much as some of u guys (and chicks) get frustrated with me i do to. honest. its like my head is "i want, i want" then when i get there i'm like wtf am i doing.

  18. Scott,
    That is a completely normal aspect of this. And you're not wrong to pay attention to those conflicting emotions.

    As you already know, in the right setting, testing the waters feels very different than the scenario you described. I hope you recognize that distinction regardless of how much or how little you're willing to do/explore at any one moment.

    For what it's worth,

  19. I think you should try it again .... eventually, you might really like it. As an aside, as a guy (with kids) leaving a 20 year marriage, I'm concerned about the devastating impact this 'hobby' of yours would have on your wife if / when she finds out.

    I'm living this scenario right now. When you figure out what you need and want regarding sex and men, you must be very honest with your young wife about it.

  20. The whole experience for you, Scott, seemed to be one of maximal effort (at least emotionally) for very little pleasure. If you're not gay, you need to decide if this is worth it.

    The subtext here is that sex with guys is so amazing that you will always want it and nothing else will be able to satisfy you. Really? If you're not gay, or a straight woman, I tend to doubt that. Plenty of people have fantasies and their lives are not incomplete if all of them are not realized. If your fantasy involved fishnet stockings or melted butter that would be one thing. But your fantasy has the very real possibilty of ruining your life. Anonymous sex with gay men can have consequences that no one here really is talking about. I work in health care and I know from experience. I'm not just talking HIV. How would you explain to your wife that you have gonorrhea of the throat? Or would you just try to get her on antibiotics? I've seen it happen.

    Buddy Bear tells you you should try it again. "Eventually" you "might even like it". Now that sounds more like my hated exercise routine at the gym, not the much extolled delights of gay sex. Who do you think that post is designed to convince? He's right about one thing, though, and if this HAS to be a continuing part of your sex life then you will eventually have to come clean about it.

    I have to say that you really are a pretty good communicator. I don't usually have much sympathy for running around behind people's backs but you have expressed yourself in such a way that I have sympathy for your struggle. I can see why you are where you find yourself and feel for you. Doesn't mean, though, that I wouldn't like to put my foot where that guy's finger was sometimes :)

    You are a lovely man, Scott. A bit daft as another poster stated but a charmer nonetheless. You've got guts to expose yourself this way. Decide if this is something you can't live happily without before you get into trouble.

  21. Scott,
    I have a suggestion for you and it just may help you discover something.
    You said, your brain says, I want, I want. Then when you get there, you say, wtf am I doing here.
    My suggestion is. When you plan to hook up with someone, let them know the thoughts that you have. I would also suggest that the other person explore your body. If, what he is doing makes you feel good tell him. If it doesn't, tell him. In doing so, you will find out more about you and what pleases you. I am certain that there are guys out there who would seriously help you on this one. They have been where you are now. If you don't like kissing, tell him before anything starts to happen. If there is something that you would like to do to that person, tell him. This suggestion is just for openers. You can call this mission exploratory.
    There is something else which is very important. Be good to yourself. Don't beat yourself up. You can suppress it, but you can't change it. It is better to come to terms with the wtf than to fight it.
    I consider you a buddy, a good one.
    Be safe,
    In time, it's all beautiful. We all have our moments of sadness and darkness, and wtf, but then, there is that beautiful ray that comes our way, and it's all beautiful.

  22. Isn't this what life is all about, though? I mean trying something to determine if you like it?

    So many of you are dissing Scott for admitting it's not what he thought it would be. Not everything is for everyone. This is not different than a bunch people saying you'd LOVE the Bondage/Sado-Masochistic sex scene - then it turns out to be rougher than expected and you get turned off by it - then those same people start dissin on you and calling you a pussy.
    When it comes to sex, we like what we like; what turns us on, turns us on. And when something doesn't feel good to us, it doesn't; we have no reason to have to defend that.

  23. SCott,

    Those of us who have been with you since the beginning continue to support you. I will occasionally read a comment and think "This guy doesn't know Scott".

    Enjoy what you enjoy, know tha tyou are playing with fire, continue to love your wife.

    I had a bud who was teaching me the joys of male sex last summer and I learned a lot of stuff I never thought I would enjoy. I had topped him a few times and wondered about being a bottom. When I suggested this, he said , "Are you sure? Once we do that you cannot be unfucked" I chose to wait and lost my anal virginity to a camera, not a man. I may play that way in the future but there is no reason I HAVE to. Ignore those who seem to think there are ANY requirements to sexual play.


  24. You're a pussy, real men take cock!

  25. Scott, I did all the exploring and tried most everything except rimming. Just coundn't get there, something repulsive to me. I did bottom,top, and gave some hot bj's but in the end, I decided my family was more important to me than my sex life. I've put the homo tendencies in the background and am pursuing a straight life with my family. Glad I stopped my exploration before I got into serious trouble. Still enjoy reading blogs like yours,TGK,Black Spark,& CG. Hope you find whatever your looking for before you screw up Scott.

  26. Scott... all due respect but you need to decide of you want to be penetrated or be with a man. Lots of gay men don't enjoy anal or penetration. That is why some are tops and some are bottoms and a whole hell of a lot are versatile. All do not enjoy a rough fuck. All do not enjooy romance. All don't enjoy lots of aspects of what is possible with a dick a vagina or an ass. To each his own.

    I said this to you long ago. If you have fantasies about penetration, they may have nothing at all to do with men or dick. You might just like a poke in the ass. If your wife won't poke you in the ass, get a toy as little or large as your hiney can handle and then test your limits without bruising some poor guys ego that he failed in some way to get you off.

    If you want a guys dick up your ass, that is entirely something else indeed and you owe yourself and your eventual partner the measure of courtesy to find your own limits with your own fingers and toy box. Don't waste your time or his or hers for that matter.

    Toys are easy to get and easy to keep and easy to explain just as sex is easy to manage if one is honest with one's self and one's expectations. We all know when we are being conned. Sex with a partner has to be honest to be enjoyed guilt free. Get there and you won't want to pee except of course of pee is what you want to do alone or with a partner.

    Good luck in your hunt for nut.

  27. Oh and I forgot to add, Tony Buff has an amazing ass and is hot as hell and is also nasty nasty nasty if you want to be peed on by a master pee freak. He runs the Fetish Force label at Titan Media and makes some seriously edgy porn. That said they always end with a little interview with the players so you know no actors were hurt in the making of or getting off on each other. That is unless pain is what they want to get off on and then he's more than willing to flog you senseless or beat your balls until they really are blue and not from a lack of leaking.

  28. o.k I have a question, I love to rim, a hunky man's butt.. but when I come to think of it, this is where the dude shit's, even if he has taken a nice shower... O.k. the question, it is a know fact that gay man loves to rim much more than a women.... So does it just boil down to men are pigs, or are we just just like dogs that love the male scent that comes form a dude's "butt".. btw I am serious... Why do gay men love to rim so much? and do straight dudes love to rim their gf or their wife's???

  29. I'll take that one anonymous at 10.59:

    You need to understand that rimming has nothing to do with shit. If a guy or girl is interested in shit that is known in the fetish world as scat play and it is let's just say it an acquired taste. Yuck.

    Your anus has large bundles of nerve endings which is why you feel pleasure and pain in that area. Not that much different than the nerve endings in your lips and if you've ever been kissed, you know that can be both pleasurable or not depending on your partner.

    Assuming both partners are clean and that they have prepared themselves for sexual activity there is no reason to assume that his or her ass is nasty. Most men are pigs but some pigs are cleaner than others and yes some like it nasty. Some want an ass to smell like an ass and some expect an ass to smell just like any other part of a clean man.

    Unless your interest tends toward scat fetish, stroking, fingering, kissing, licking, fondling, poking, fucking or fisting an ass is only about reaching pleasurable and desirable sensations you can't get any other way than engaging your anal spinchters (yes you have two).

    By the way, if you find anal play painful, it is usually because you have not relaxed the inner anal sphincter. It is controlled by muscles not typically controlled by your conscious brain function. You learn to control that muscle the same way you train any other muscle through practice.

  30. Thank very much for the helpful information anonymous at 2:43 am... you have been very helpful...

    I do love a man's ass, plain and simple, not into scat at all, but do enjoy the natural smells of a man's butt.... so what I am trying to say, if a dude took a shower in the morning, did not take a dump, and went on a 3 mile jog, I want to rim his ass, the second he gets back from his jog... that is the best...

    Thanks again....

  31. 2 Fingers? Please! - I've taken a forearm without much trouble.

  32. This guy tried to jam a finger up my ass with my running shorts still on. I didn't really like it as far as he was going so I just scootched it out and we did other stuff. It's a kind of non-verbal communication and the person that doesn't pick up on it and has to be told everything is an asshole or phychopath. General preferences in the beginning like "I don't fuck on a first date!" are fine but any partner should be able to explore with few words.

  33. All due respect to Anonymous at 3:14...

    You do not want to rim an anus. You want to lick sweat off the skin of a masculine athletic body. You try doing what you said you wanted to do and if you are any good at rimming, you will certainly end up with shit on your lips.

    A man who runs three miles and has not taken a dump all day has a rectum full of shit. Plain and simple. He may be sweaty in all the good ways but he is not ready to rim unless you want a really nasty experience.

    By the way, most men who like to rim and receive that attention are going to plan and prepare so they can enjoy themselves without worrying about you. It is a courtesy and it shows respect for a partner. They want you to play with their hole, not their shit. Rimming is usually heavy foreplay ahead of penetration so that rectum needs to be empty and clean.

    I question whether you really want to rim or are on the edge of wanting to explore more challenging fetish action.

    Keep in mind, if you are licking sweat of a man, you are licking bacteria off a man and anything he encountered along the way of his three mile run. You damn well better be a very healthy man in your own right or be well vaccinated.

  34. Wait, wait, wait, just a minute anonymous at 1:15 pm, May6.... say the dude gets up in the morning for work, shit, shaves and showers, goes for his 3mile jog, stops by my place because he knows I get turned on my a sweaty guy, I can't lick his hole without eating shit, or can't lick his sweaty pits, or tongue his nips, or suck his toes, without getting some bacterial disease, I have been doing it for years, and I am in tip top shape....