Monday, May 9, 2011

JO Technique

If I watch gay porn I like watching guys JO.  I mean I like other stuff but for whatever reason I like watching a dude put the hammer down.  And as much as I’ve learned on this blog about men and sex, I’ve learned more about self gratification.  Like we all got our own technique.
1)      Slow & Steady – usually republicans.  They like the predictability.  A tried and true method.  These guys like to kickback and enjoy the ride.
2)      Two Fisted Power Pumper – typically reserved for the blessed among us.  This method adheres to the notion that one hand just won’t cover all the real estate.  I’ve used this method but to be honest, it’s overkill in my case lol
3)      The OK Method – this is where you use your thumb and pointer finger to make the ‘ok’ sign and wrap it around your shaft.  This has got to be a hereditary thing cuz I have no idea why you wouldn’t want your whole damn hand wrapped around the fucker.  Maybe this is the opposite of the Two Fisted Power Pump.
4)      Two Fingers Method – closely related to the OK Method but the stroker uses pointer and middle finger side by side to furiously rub the pole.  Probably popular with the passive-aggressive lol
5)      Hand Vacuum – this is one I never tried and didn’t really know existed.  Its when you put your fingertips together and push your shaft through them till it gets to your palm, sorta like using your hand to emulate a pussy (or asshole).  Guys that do this typically have great imagination!
6)      The Humper – get rid of the lube, give your hand a rest, grab a pillow, lay on top of it, and have at it. Biggest downfall is crusty sheets.  This method carried me through my adolescence.
The Abuser – my method of choice.  If you have time you start out with the Slow & Steady method.  But after a short warm up you grab your dick and beat the muther fucking shit out of it. This method isn’t for the faint of heart.  You have to have sorta a love-hate relationship with your cock. But damn its worth it.


  1. Scott will read post later, just glad to see you back, we love you dude....


  2. Love the way you write. Almost passed out without your morning post. Don't EVER do that again young man!

  3. I like the thought of that last one... the abuser. sounds hot.

    this is alex, btw.

  4. How many other guys were humper's, it was the same for me Scott.

    You didn't mentioned the "over hand slip trip," has to be done by a buddy, so maybe that excludes you for now, but its great. Your buddy lubes his hand and moves it over, around and under your cock, always maintaining pressure in just the right spots. I could cum from just that if I wanted the evening to end early.

  5. Adolescent Scott humping away furiously at a pillow XD. I don't know if that image is even funnier than it is sexy, or the other way around.

    A bit hypocritical of me I'll admit, because I used to get off that exact same way as a teenaged girl. I never really knew guys did it too.


  7. Slow and easy is my method of choice depending on time available. Edgeing can make this last for a couple of hours. Other times the Abuser is perfect when time is short. I even got pretty good at shaving with the right hand and stroking with the left. Just have to shave and stroke at the same time. Whatever floats your boat is good.

  8. This shit really cracked me up. I'm an abuser some of the time with an overhand left handed stroke. Right hand grips my base and balls.(I'm right handed)I finish off with a full grip. Just in case you wanted to know. LOL

    Cheers, MM

  9. Scott,
    Changing subject for a moment. Watched the Ray/
    Baltimore game Saturday, his name was Luke Scott, All I could think of that You were in Fantasy Baseball.
    He reminded me that it could be You. God is he a Beautiful LF, 205lbs, 6' and all I could think about
    was it was you. Love Baseball, they play everyday,
    many have some awesome Bodies. We got good old
    Johnny Damon this year. Age makes him play much harder.
    Read that High School coach taught him to piss
    on his gloves or hands to take the soreness out.
    He is known for exercising in Club House Naked.
    What a Guy!!!

  10. middle and ring finger on bottom, thumb on top, giving it a slight twist coming up and down, mostly left hand, pointer may tap the tip as the rest hits the base, uncut so not lube is needed. scott has seen this, lol i can fit a 5hour energy bullet bottle in my skin. up down up down. can be 5 mins can be 2 hours depends on what im doing. my record was 18 shots in 2 hours the first time i tried lube, that made a mess.

  11. Let's see, if I am not watching porn and it's right before I hit the hay, I must admit, I am still a humper, but most of time, I am on my back the pillow between my legs (pillow can't be too soft or too hard) so I hump upward, then when ready to shoot, I throw the pillow off me quick, wipe up, and then shit, have to freaking get out of the bed and find the damn pillow....and yes I do still hump the mattress on occasion, usually I put a soft towel down, so the jizz wont go thru the sheets...

    But mainly I am with you Scott, have porn on the computer, start out slow, (becasue I am going to various sites), then when I really find something I like, my cock takes a real "beating", but it never disappoints me, the newspapers that I have laid on the floor have to be disposed of.. yes I have to be standing when ready, and my Ky warming gel on hand, depends what mood I am in, can be a "jerk off" session of anywhere from 10 mins to 45 minutes.... then I say I am all set for another day, but then hell I could be posting on CL within 20 minutes...


  12. I have tried some of these but now I have a bucket list!

  13. Oldbob says:

    Was a pillow humper in the beginning. Self taught no handy older brother or cousin. Figured out later that hand worked good too and the pillow case stopped getting so yellow and crusty after that. Lord knows what my mom thought when she was doing the laundry. She never mentioned it.

  14. Hey Scott
    Used to hump a soft-woven rug on the floor of my bedroom every afternoon after school (beginning 6 or 7th grade)- then at night would hump the bed - and when I got old enough to cum - yes the sheets began to show it. Later on I started using my hand and hand lotion and not until after being married did I actually use lub. In the winter my left hand is always softer than the right too! Wife even noticed.
    Tom from Cleveland

  15. Hysterical! Abuser is definitely an all-body feeling and worth the extra effort!

  16. I remember thinking at some point that no matter what, I'll have this forever. Almost too good to believe. But, hold on .. will I? I'm here to tell you boys that the answer is yes. Takes a little longer sometimes, little more work involved and, yes, the product is not as impressive as those wall-splats of old, BUT the very, very best part of the ending lasts about eleven times longer. I know, surprised me too over the years. Rick SEA

  17. im circling this day - i taught some chick something lol

    rad joe's got it. damon is 1 of the great nudists in baseball. was with the yanks. prob will b till his balls sag on the floor.

  18. Great post, Scott! The humor puts it over the top for me...Guess it's true about "creative folks" with the Hand Vacuum - that's one of my favorites; love the feel of the head bumping into the palm. But I must be fucked up big time because I think I employ them all in every session!

  19. Hell, this dude has an awesome cock, thick one at that, man that sucker is hard and some sort of a curve, I wonder if he took a little whiff of that pair of underwear, to help help to jizz out????