Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Relationships

Ok this one I’m totally out of my league so I’m just gonna turn it over to you guys.  A reader who is 18 and gay believes he’s fallen in love with another man.  The other man is 17.  Neither have much experience (I don’t think any at all actually).  But the 18 yr old wrote to me and wants to know if I thought a man can fall in love with another man at such an early age and have a lifetime of happiness together.  I know EXACTLY what I’d tell him if it was a guy and a girl but I don’t want to give advice on shit I know nothing about (though it hasn’t stopped me before lol).  Have at it boys!

24 comments:

  1. Scott it's called infatuation. We all go through it at that age, whether it's with boys or girls. Tell him his puppy ass needs to grow up before he starts thinking about serious relationships and in the meantime have fun but be safe.

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  2. of course it's possible. but the odds against it are unfortunately huge. in the meantime, they need to understand that in many states in this country, it's a reality that an 18 yr. old having sex with a minor constitutes statutory rape. i won't proffer my opinion, just a deeply felt note of caution. think!
    cheers and good luck.

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  3. is it me or do these two dicks look like they're making out?

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  4. I started having sex with men when I was 16. It was with a guy who was 21. I thought I was in love. He wasn't. But it was rockstar sex so how bad can that be? To that point I wasn't even sure if I was gay. Once I was penetrated believe me, I knew.

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  5. When just a bit older than these guys ( 21 & 24) it was LOVE.
    Last week was our 30th anniversary.
    Go figure!

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  6. Possible but not likely. That shouldn't diminish the two from enjoying the relationship and seeing where it leads.

    I'm fairly certain that the 18 year old knows this already unless he's been living under a rock. All he has to do is look around and he'll figure out the odds.

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  7. Scott,
    I would like to know what you would tell him, if it were male to female.

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  8. Congrats Anon 8:23!

    Scott... I also fell in love with my bf when I was 18... we were together for 13 years. I always thought I was the luckiest man on earth to find my soul mate so early in life. We've since separated, but I'll always look back with LOVE!

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  9. Of course a man can fall in love with a man.
    Of course teenagers can fall in love be it true love or puppy love.
    Will it last forever? Who knows? You never know when you start a relationship whether you are 17 or 55. You gotta just go for it and see what happens. It depends on the state whether it is considered underage or not. Many states allow teens with in a year or two of each other to have sexual relations. Benchpecs

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  10. benchpecs may be correct...BUT, and this is important...if a minor confided in his parents or they happened to find out and didn't approve...in most states, they could haul the 18 yr. old's ass into court. i had sex w/ an adult when i was in 6th grade. i won't venture an opinion on whether it was right or wrong. I only made that comment above, so that the parties in question would FIND OUT FOR A FACT what the law is in their state so that neither of them gets hurt or has their lives ruined. don't take someone else's word for it. FIND OUT THE LAW!
    cheers!

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  11. Scott,

    Why would your "advice" be any different to this kid if he were in love with a girl?

    Love is love.

    Our love is not "different" from yours.

    Geez.

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  12. That young man is experiencing high octane hormones.
    It may be a good idea if he reads some books on sexual development.
    bj
    p.s. The advice about the law, is a good one.

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  13. Love or infatuation. Hardly matters the sex of the participants. The feelings are the same.

    All you can do is live in the moment, rather than worry about 6 months, 6 years or 6 decades down the line. I have gotten trapped in that looking forward trap and ended up missing the beauty of what was right there in front of me.

    Feeling that all powerful love at 18 is how one learns to become a man. At least with two guys there is no risk of a baby to muddy the waters.

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  14. "The 18 yr old wrote to me and wants to know if I thought a man can fall in love with another man at such an early age and have a lifetime of happiness together."

    How about, "yes, but don't count on it"?
    Celt

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  15. What about school, work, travel, opportunities, a chance to explore your sexuality? All of these (and more!) present themselves to us at that young age (and NOT ONLY at that age!). Most of us haven't yet found ourselves, much less someone else at that young age.
    Maybe they have found each other, but that's a maybe...
    Artful1

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  16. I was 19 when my partner and I first started out. I am now 37 and we have been together monogamously for the whole time! So how about dropping all of your bitter comments and just wish the guy well? Yes, true love is possible at 17 and 18!

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  17. anon 848 and u other guys who wanna kno my take, male to male or male to female. id tell the guy have fun with your dick and do what you wanna do but dont think its gonna last forever. you gotta live for the moment and sex doesnt have to be attached to love. reason i didnt say this up front is cuz i figured id come off like an asshole. but to me a dude (gay or startihgt) has to play the field with his dick before he settles down with 1 pussy (or asshole lol).

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  18. It def don't matter if we're talking 2 guys, 2 girls, or boy girl. At that age the realist in me says its unlikely 2 last a lifetime, but the romantic side of me wants 2 believe in true love, love at first sight and happily ever after. I hope this kid, like anon @ 1:11 is the exception and I hope he's found his Romeo.

    Ltr fellas

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  19. Yes. My partner and I fell in love very young and have been together pretty happily and monogamously since. He was 16 I was just turned 19. Almost 10 years together.

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  20. I have str8 friends who started dating when they were 14. Their relationship and love appeared to get stronger and stronger as time went on. Unfortunately, she died at 59 years old. But their love was real and lasted and for him it still is going strong.
    Every relationship will have ups and downs and age is not the only factor of whether or not it will last.
    I say, go for it, make sure you're legal, be SAFE and have some fucking fun!

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  21. A 17-year-old isn't a man. Just sayin'.

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  22. Being in love has little to do with being committed to another human be they man or woman, young or old. At 17 you know nothing of commitment. You simply can't. You simply have not lived long enough.

    Can you build a life together where you each learn what commitment means and what sacrifice costs, of course. Love will help with that process. It won't guarantee you a lifetime together. Love will not separate you from pain or from loss or from betrayal. For those issues you need commitment and above all you need trust.

    In your youth is it possible to fall in love with the man or woman you are destined to spend the remainder of your life with? Of course it is but it will require much more of you than you can possibly know in your youth.

    Good luck. Work hard. Be kind along the way. Be available always.

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  23. Dude sometimes I think you want your blog to get booted off again. Use some common sense.

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  24. Scottie, I think you get too hung up on the different "rules" between gay and straight relationships and sex. Human emotions are the same on both sides of the fence.

    Yeah the kid can think he's in love at 17/18. Like straight kids at that age, it might well be love but it is probably lust and a crush.

    In your other post you asked about gay dating. Sometimes I like to take it slow like I did with my current boyfriend and other times you just end up in the sack. Neither is wrong, just like with a chick.

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