Thursday, June 23, 2011

“Where Do You Want Me To Shoot?”

I wanted head.  And I wanted it from a guy.  I had tried jacking off with a guy.  It was cool. But kinda disappointing.  I didn’t really look at the guy at all.  I thought it would be considered rude to stare.  Wtf did I know.  So I turned my attention to getting head.  Met the guy 4 coffee. Seemed cool.  Agreed to BJ exchange.  Never happened.  Oh ya I went there and we got naked.  But he was all over Junior from the start.  Won’t go into details but it was nice.  Very nice. WAY different from women.  Totally.  He blew me.  I ran out like a banshee as soon as he was done.  I thought the gay police were gonna arrest me.  Unauthorized Trespass by a Straight Guy in a Gay Zone.  Toss me in jail.  Or worse – be assigned to interior decortator school!  But I did it.  Nearly puked on the way over I was so nervous.  But I did it.  Right in his fuckin mouth.  Sweet.

22 comments:

  1. My first time I was nervous as hell too! I didn't puke, but I was so wound up I couldn't cum. I think the other guy liked it though, because he did cum, unbeknownst to me, and I almost stepped in his huge puddle of jizz on the tile floor when I went to stand up.

    Since that first time, I MUCH less nervous, and have received several nice BJs. It's sooooooo much better than my hand!

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  2. I've had one bj. I was so nervous I didnt' enjoy it but have wanted more ever since.

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  3. I am really glad you are doing this series now as I have been thinking of "doing it" for about 6 years now. I'm 33, wife kids, yada, yada. I hope you can keep retelling. I have been a reader of yours for over a year. I hope you can explan how to get over any feelings of guilt. I know if I don't do it I'll live to regret it. I've regretted the times I've cum close, but backed out. I've met someone from CL 3 yrs ago, but he was ugly. Met some guys from Grindr, but not at the right time. Have been on Grindr for months and have some good connections. More like friends, unlike you, I crave the emotional side as well. Anyway, any advice on guilt?

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  4. The guy in the picture is awesomely beautiful!!!!!!!

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  5. Mutual BJ's are only fair...as a guy we can understand the give and take needed. First time I sucked another guys dick I liked giving it as I would like getting it...and so it began.

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  6. Anonymous at 7:57. I think "guilt" comes with the territory for every closeted bi/gay married guy with children. The guilt is worse if you are screwing around on your wife and if you have a religious background, especially catholic.

    Ultimately, the only way to get rid of the guilt is to come out to your wife about your sexuality. This is an incredibly tough decision and will impact the lives of everyone around you. There are no easy choices.

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  7. Anonymous 7.57. I would not come out to the wife. You are not yet certain as to where you are yet. As far as guilt. There is a difference between our wants and our needs. The wants we can put aside, the needs, that's a different ballgame. Anyone on the bi side has the need and that will at one time or another will have to be satisfied. First and foremost, safety. I sometimes think that one can be a better husband when his needs are satisfied. Guilt, can in time rationalize itself. I believe that we can do two things at the same time. The journey may be scary, I think that all would agree to that. In fact, look at the first few postings, as to how scared the posters were.
    As far as an emotional connection, that you mentioned. That connection can go much deeper. It is more lasting. I believe that is the one where you can go to the other side of the fence. Some are afraid of the emotional connection. A more self centered person would probably have no interest in it at all. The uniqueness of emotions is, it's like a seed. A seed that slowly starts to develop and grows. At some time it surfaces and it becomes a reality, but then again, it depends upon the person. I have learned that there are givers in this world and there are takers. I have greater admiration for the givers, they seem to have need and not want, like the takers. Just thought that I would share some of my thoughts with you.
    Have a good day and be safe,
    bj.

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  8. Guilt is a learned feeling. I don't like useless feeling and guilt and regret are useless. Their only usefulness is as a warning to avoid the action in the future. If you KNOW that you will not avoid the action, then the guilt is self imposed and self embraced. There is no reason to feel guilty for things that cannot be changed. I know this sounds like a long winded way to say "GET OVER IT" but it is really a long winded way of saying "set your own standards AHEAD OF TIME and follow them" If the guilt comes from feelings of betrayal, STOP THE BETRAYING or get over it.

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  9. Dude, the gay police?! ROFL! Way hot Scott!

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  10. Our American, puritanical, cultural views on what constitutes appropriate, moral and healthy sexuality is so completely off the mark from the normal variations in human sexuality. It leaves the wreckage of destructive longing, lying, betrayal, and unhappiness, all because we cannot be honest to the ones we love about who we are and what we need. I hope the those with children out there are teaching them to love differently.

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  11. I would like to add something about what I read and have heard. When the wives of bi guys are questioned after a divorce or a separation, most of the wives have said, they suspected that there husband was bi or gay.

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  12. My first time caused a few anxious moments too, but I had been wanting try sex with a dude for a long time nothing was going to stop me. The dude was an expert and he had me totally under his control in a minute. Wow, it felt so incredible, needless to say I was back for more. I won't discuss the moral or cheating issue--thats one for each person to resolve in his own mind. We only go around once and life is to be enjoyed. Maybe selfesh but thats ok. PS:love to do the dude in the picture

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  13. What a fucking crock. INAPPROPRIATE guilt is maladaptive but there are times when guilt is perfectly appropriate. Quit with the feel good bullshit and at least try to be honest here if you can't in your personal lives

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  14. If you are not in someone's shoes you don't know their situation. I'm married, been hooking up with guys on and off for a little while and I still feel guilt each time. I've talked to Scott and other guys in a similar situation and that helps, but again, everyone's situation is different. You cant tell someone not to feel guilty or to come out and your guilt will go away. It's usually not that simple.

    This blog is great because many men who are married and have always considered themselves straight are wrestling with feelings they've often times pushed down but can relate to men in similar situations.

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  15. When guys learn to communicate better, their lives will be much better. Guys can talk about football, baseball, soccer, rugby, etc, but when it comes to talking about themselves, forget it.
    The good thing about this blog is, it gives guys a chance to open up.
    bj.

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  16. So many uninformed, judgemental responses... wow.
    The problem us bi married guys have in the long run is in denying something that makes up a part of who we are. Coming to terms with that is not only good for ourselves, it is good for those around us. Does that mean you have to sit the wife down and end up in divorce court? Or lose your kids? NO! That's complete bullshit.
    Maybe my situation is different, because my wife knew I was bi when she married me. But, that is a side of my personality - a part of who I am - and to have to deny that would only make me depressed and resentful.
    Nobody should have to repress such normal feelings. Tom @10:50 put it very succinctly; our fucked-up, puritanical society in the U.S. fails us all.
    Scott, what you provide here for the curious straight guys and the active bi males is invaluable.

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  17. I think the gay police should arrest you for having such a cliche stereotypical view of Interior Designers. It's hair dressers that you really need to worry about. lol

    And Scott, if you've been doing this for more than twelve months, then you have more seniority than me.

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  18. What is all this crap about losing your kids? You're their father; they are your children. It is a biological fact. It cannot be changed. My partner separated from his wife over thirty years ago, when his children were in their early teens. His son and daughter have lived with us at various times. They are part of our life. So too are his grandchildren. He still does not get on with his former wife, but we meet on fairly good terms at fimily occasions. His situation is little different from guys who left their marriage for another woman, which is commonplace these days

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  19. There is one thing that won't change, and that is who you are. It's not going to go away. Either let it lay dormant and deprive yourself or do something about it, and do it safely. You can change the color of a room and buy a different color car or truck, but what you feel, ain't going to go away. Happiness is not something that we should always have to chase after, or deprive ourselves of. Being beaten up by guilt, or letting someone beat you up with guilt as a weapon, is not healthy. Not at all.
    bj.

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  20. This discussion is intense, and I really feel for the guys involved. I know one, very close friend, thirty-seven years in fact, who doesn't know I know what he's been up to. (Complicated.)
    I almost think we should toss the "bi" category and come up with something else. Generally (there are exceptions) our Friends love their wives. They do not love their tricks, nor is there any liklihood they ever will. Furthermore, the sex attraction itself - one doesn't diminish the other. Silly thought, sorry about this: if only the wives could come to see it like... golf, which they don't understand either.

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  21. 3.11a.m
    I like that, if only the wives could see it as golf, which they don't understand either. That my good man is a good one.
    I think that the internet has given the opportunity for a lot of people to explore. It's probably a good thing. It certainly is a good thing where guys can get together and talk about it.
    bj.

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  22. dude, I can tell you, that anytime you want to let me suck your cock and you drop a load down my throat you have made my day. I have no problem servicing a str8 dude--now, just park your butt hole over me next. I'll keep the police at bay. ;-P

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