Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Another Straight Guy Falls

Got this email and you guys sure as hell can answer this better than me.  Ya I know, we've talked about this before.  But take a second to help this dude out.  It may not seem like it to you but its a pretty big deal to take the plunge to get porked for the first time.

I have question - i think you might have posted something about this a while back, so if you did, just send me the link.

So I'm ready to get fucked by a guy, and I just want to be ready for when that happens, like clean and all that. So I was wondering what guys out there recommend to get clean, how often they do it, how soon before they're actually going to do it, etc etc.

25 comments:

  1. Get on a fiber diet. Take a scoop every morning. Takes a couple of days to become regular, but things flow good. Use butt wipes too. Once you start that you will know when your ok to butt fuck. Remember, the dirty part in the anal canal only shows up when it's about time to unload, all other times throughout the day are pretty good. Remember this, a little dirt on the stick doesn't hurt either.

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  2. Eating my Kellogg's Raisin Bran right now, with my cup of coffee, my legs will be up in the air in no time, well that's after I sit my beefy butt on the John.. then every "Tom", "Dick" and "Harry", can dip-stick me..

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  3. I got a hand-held shower head from home depot ($35). I prefer them cuz how else do you get soap of the back of your balls? It has three speeds one is a powerful jet. I have gotten to power pressure washing my ass with this setting. It works great you will have the cleanest pucker in town.

    Benchpecs

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  4. Check out what the guys on Aneros.com do before they use their prostate massagers. Basically, if you're not feeling sparkly clean, about 200ml of water injected via a cheap plunger syringe, should do the trick. You don't wanna use too much.

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  5. I love it when another ass cherry falls. Hang on to the bedposts, bury your face in the pillow, spread em wide, and take it like a man. It might be your first but I garuntee it won't be your last!

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  6. This is what I do, and never heard any tell me there was any "dirt" on the "stick"...

    First try to take a good dump...

    Then, a nice lukewarm shower, using a wash cloth and Baby's Johnson's shampoo,(does not sting, and in case if he wants to rim, doesn't leave a strong perfume smell) get a lather up on the cloth, cover a finger in cloth, go deep up you "pucker" when you see no more ahhh, light brown, you good to lift you squeaky clean man butt, to the hunky dude that's going to try to plow the "shit" out of you....

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  7. Make sure he fingers your hole before putting his dick in your ass so your hole has a chance to acclimate. Ask for a rim job too. It's the least he can do if he's going to take your cherry. Have him do you in a few postions - missionary and on your back legs in the air. You may find one easier to take than the other depending on his size and penetration method. Good luck, have fun, be safe.

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  8. LOL.. anonymous at 12:28 pm, sorry can't help it, don't think Scott's going to be singing "Happy Days are here again", while he's getting plowed for the first time, could be wrong, have been wrong about plenty of stuff before..but I am more to agree with anonymous at 10:31 am "Hang on to the bedposts, bury your face in the pillow, spread em wide, and take it like a man. It might be your first but I guarantee it won't be your last!

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  9. I was topping a guy for several years. He had always been a top. One night, I wanted to try it. He was hung, too. We used ky. The entry was a little bit uncomfortable, but not much. Once he started to slide it in, and I could feel it. Trust me, it was awesome. He had a good seven inches, thick. He did it slowly. I can honestly say, I enjoyed the ride. What also blew me away was, he put his lips and tongue to one of my nipples. I never knew there was such sensation in a guys nipple. The next time we got together, and we were a steady, he wanted to go back to the way it was. I never asked him to do it again. I happened to enjoy topping him, and he told me, he loved it. All of that lasted seven years. I can also add, he had a beautiful body in every way. His ass was awesome.
    Use ky. Vaseline and latex do not get along. The latex will break down if u use vaseline.
    Enjoy.

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  10. Gotta admit I am nowhere near that curious.

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  11. I have to get something off my chest. I love this blog and the author; it's unique, intriguing and humorous. But you and your curious readers treat the male anal orafice as though it's the Holy Sanctuary. It's an asshole, and as much as you deny it, deep down you want a man to fuck you. You're lucky women don't guard their snatch the way you guard your rosebud. You'd never have children!!!!!!!

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  12. One of the best ways to clean out is to buy a Fleet enema and replace the mixture with warm, mildly soapy (very mild) water. When you're ready to do the actual deed engage in some serious assplay first. Lots of heavily lubed finger action and/or rimming. The get the guy on his back, squirt some lube in your ass as well as all around outside and slowly lower yourself down on his cock. It gives you the control to take how much and how fast you want. Trust me. The pressure of your balls and taint sliding back and forth over his groin will have you shooting in no time. I use to cum without even touching myself and I'm a top.

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  13. What does "topping" mean?

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  14. Young man (I'm assuming or newbie to man to man play) we call a top, the dude that sticks his cock in another dudes butt (which this dude would be the "bottom") the top humps the dude till the top spill his load, most likely in a rubber he put on before he still his cock in the dudes hole...

    In lay man terms:

    top is the fucker
    bottom is the fuckee

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  15. What a classroom this is.
    I am going for a job interview. I guess that I am the interviewee being interviewed by the interviewer. I will give thought to the fucker and the fuckee during the interview. I just hope that I don't slip up and mention the job that I would really like to have.
    bj

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  16. too funny bj, but you can be the sucker and I'll be your suckee, did you have your protein shake yet this morning?

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  17. Anonymous 11.39pm.
    There is no such thing as a dumb question. You can guarantee that they will all be answered here, with class. That's what we are, classy and discreet with our answers. If one professor can't help you another professor will!
    In the future, you can address your questions to Prof. Fucker, or Prof. Fuckee.
    bj
    p.s. There are times when this site makes my day.

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  18. yes I agree wtih bj totally, no dumb question is too dumb for this blog.. lol... we might laugh at it, but we will answer.. it's like the old saying "we are laughing with you, not at you..

    btw, did anyone take notice of the fuckee's (bottom) big mushroom capped head, wow, now if he was the fucker, and hitting some one's button with that...Pow they might shoot in seconds...

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  19. Use a plan water enema a few hours before being fucked. Keep using it until the water runs clear.

    Use lots of lube, and for the love of god USE A CONDOM!!!

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  20. this is if you have like only 5 minutes before "opportunity knocks at your door (literally)..

    so run in the bathroom like Johnny be good, wipe you ass with TP, just to check the situation out, then (and always have these on hand), take some non-alcohol wipes(won't sting you man-hole) and get a finger up there deep, and keep repeating till the "coast is clear".. (no light brown at all) and no Tp berries..

    most likely you will have a clean fuck..

    PS: ALWAYS HAVE FLUSHABLE NON-Alcohol WIPES, HANDY FOR QUICK WIPING OF YOU "POOPER"..

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  21. Just go get fucked and get it over with.

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  22. When Scott ever does take it up the ass, it will most likely cut into all regular T.V. networks..

    It will go something like this assuming he catches his nut, from having his "button" tickled"..

    There will be a press conference with the dude that was the fucker, he will show pics of a dude making a "monkey face" and have audible sounds of a monkey going crazy, you know when a monkey is in a frenzy...oooo, ooooooo, oooooo, with his big eyes all cross-eyed....and arms flapping all around.

    Oh yes, there will be news reports going all around the world...

    Questions will be asked of the dude, that broke Scott "cherry bottom", like what position? did he put up a fight? did you lift his legs willingly? what kind of lube was used? did he ran right to the shitter when it was over? and how many banana's was he rewarded? And most importantly was he a good lay?

    Please stay tuned for further details..

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  23. I want to experience anal sex

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  24. Buy a Shower Shot with a diverter valve. Hook it up to your shower and use it. Just don't run full water pressure through it or you're wreck your hole.

    Warm water - NOT hot!

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  25. I put a bathroom wipe on the end of a monkey wrench, shove it in, repeat until no more shows up, then I take a shower. I'm good to go.

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