Monday, August 1, 2011

Reader Letter

Published with the permission of the author.
I have a friend who’s gay and he suggested I check out your blog.  I’m a 26 straight guy living in the city.  I have an apartment with my best friend who’s also straight.  I’ve read in your postings and comments this line you draw between gay and straight guys.  Just so you know that’s pretty much horseshit.  There’s a huge population of men just like me who have sex with a friend of the same sex.  We don’t send each other flowers.  We don’t have Ikea furniture.  You’d never know us by the things you associate as gay.  It’s called friends with benefits (FWB).  Google it and learn.  You probably would have been one of us if you were born 20 years later.  I’m not sure your generation (sorry Scott, people my age consider you old) could have embraced it like we do.  It’s not odd or weird to us.  It’s just who we are.  We date women and fuck women.  But we don’t limit ourselves to women.  We’re not teetering on the verge of homosexuality.  Typically alcohol and drugs + a dry spell with women lead to sex with a buddy.  Don’t try to figure out who we are.  My best friend was one of the best wrestlers in Jersey his senior year of high school.  He also happens to give ridiculously good head.  Trust me on this one.  There’s a lot out there you don’t know about Scott.  You sound like a pretty progressive guy.  All I’m telling you is not to limit yourself to the stereotypes you were raised with because they’re totally fucked.

63 comments:

  1. Oh my! I have lots of thoughts on this one. But really one question and the answer to it will tell me alot. Does the author of this above published meme share his "friends with benefits" FWB with the "women" he also fucks? Meaning is he open with his female sexual partners about his sexual activity with males? ok that was 2 questions but you get my drift.

    MattB

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  2. Yeah, he's right. I'm older than 18, so I'm totally ignorant about sex. My frail old brain has a real tough time grasping what he's into. I can only hope this punk will write again and enlighten us some more.

    What an arrogant prick.

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  3. First I'll start off nice, Good Morning everyone, nice pic Scott.

    Now for the little shit that wrote the article, respect your "elders" and to our generation "FWB" = MOOCHER, so next time you in a "dry spell" and you had a couple of drinks, get your butt over here, you need to be spanked but good, and no you not getting a car after the spanking..

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  4. After reading on this site about how active guys are in college with their roommates, kinda makes sense to me. I would like to know if that fella did go to college? I would also like to know if he played around when he was in his early teens? He did say, that his friend from high school gave great head.
    I wonder what his gay friend thinks of his article?
    bj.

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  5. Matt,

    I couldn't agree more. Being "authentic" also means being honest. I can just imagine the judgement you employ when engaged in these "alcohol and drug" filled encounters. Oh and will you consider it a "dry spell" when your wife is nearing term with your child? Good time to fuck around with your FWBs? Sure who they've been fucking around with?

    I think some same sex experimentation/contact is normal between growing boys/men. The attitude you exhibit is something else entirely. I only hope you grow up before you do some real damage.

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  6. "We're not teetering on the verge of homosexuality"

    Nothing wrong with being gay or bi but I think you may be kidding yourself. Since you're so eager to tell Scott to "google it" I suggest you take your own advice and look about the internet. You will find plenty of guys like you who thought they had a handle on it ..no big deal..fucking with guys was just fucking...until they had a couple of kids and the feelings didn't go away.

    Turns out it was more than a "dry spell" that attracted them to guys. They live conflicted double lives for the most part. That is unless they are like you sound and have no conscience. Then they seem to have no problems. Unless their wives find out....

    Grow up.

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  7. I'm trying not to sound defensive or hostile, but this little shit's tone doesn't make it easy. I get his point - 'he can have sex with men' and that doesn't make him gay idea. But it also sounds like he spends a lot of time and energy making sure people don't think he is gay either. He sounds like a lot of people - 'I was drunk', my girlfriend wouldn't put out'. The same old justifications this his elders have been using for years. I bet he and his FWB never talk about their arrangement with anyone.

    Mark from Pittsburgh

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  8. I don't think "Friends with benefits" is used to describe exactly that kind of a friendship in most cases, but whatever. Seems to me that this little snot is in a bit of denial....

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  9. I commend you on not being afraid to follow your sexual desires.

    But you have a problem with definitions.

    If you have sex with both men and woman you are Bi it is that simple. Some people call any man who has sex with men gay, and don't recognize the idea Bisexuality. They would say your gay.

    You may not like the labels bi or gay but they apply. I agree the younger generation has a more accepting and open attitudes regarding sexual issues and homosexuality. (with the exception of public showers) However don't think that you guys inverted FWB -- that went on 20 years ago, 120 years ago or 2020 years ago for that matter.

    I agree the term "gay" is problematic. It can mean different things to different people.

    Our discussion on effeminate and masculine gays shows there are many ways of being gay, and you are one of them.

    Benchpecs

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  10. Hey young man, FWB has been around for a very long time. Even someone my age is familiar with it. Funny though, it typically referred to people of the OPPOSITE sex..

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  11. Why the Hell are you guys coming down so hard on this guy? MattB....do you share ALL of your sexual history with every partner? many guys who are sleeping with girls who know each other do not reveal this (though I suspect most regret that). Calling a writer arrogant or a shit does not fit into this blog's overall tone. i am in my 60s and did not see any disrespect for elders in that letter. I DID see a young man with the enthusiasm of youth (Even we old folks know what FWB means). I am sorry that this writer thinks there are so many people who limit themselves to stereotypes but i am more annoyed at the responses to what I think was an honest letter.

    I have said it before, a cock likes stimulation and doesn't much care whether the stimulus pees sitting down or standing up.

    DP

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  12. Hmmm, he has sex with girls, which is heterosexual. He has sex with guys, which is homosexual. So that makes him bisexual. And FWB = fuck buddies. Sounds to me like there's absolutely nothing new about his generation except it's easier for them to be open about doing what all the rest of us have always done. Gee, I wonder if anyone he "considers old", like that geezer Scott, has had anything to do with promoting this and making life easier for a typically self-centered child.

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  13. News flash. Being young lasts about 5 minutes in life. Deal with it you boring asshole.

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  14. You have to love the younger ones,they do have ballls, lol. FWB, my ass. This is how a typical CL post goes when asking for a FWB.

    hey young dude here, looking for older gentleman, my gf is outta town, and want to try sex with a dude, oh btw, you have to pick me up, and then have to stop for cigarettes and some booze, you don't mind buying do you, she didn't leave me with any money. Thanks man.

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  15. Why is everyone seemingly down on this guy? Doesn't anyone remember discovering something new and thinking that no one else knew about it. Age will inform him that FWB is not a new thing, getting a bj from a friend is not a new thing, it's been going on since the dawn of man.

    Stereotypes are probably the newest thing here we're talking about here, and do need to be ignored for the most part.

    The question I have for the guy is; are you going to settle down one day with one person and grow a family? If so, are you going to give up your FWB, or keep them on the dl? This is where most of the "old guys" are that interact on Scott's blog.

    PS, when we do the FWB, we do it without the crutch of alcohol and drugs, we make a conscience decision and live with that decision, cause I'm adult enough to admit that I like sticking my cock into the ass of another guy, hard and repeatedly, till I cum.

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  16. Dear DP,

    To answer your question. I am an out, very out and open homosexual male. If I was dipping back into the hetero pond yes I would make clear that I am an active homo. And also to be clear I did not write that anyone is arrogant or a shit. I am trying to understand the original writers statements.

    MattB

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  17. DP and Amtop, anyone is entitled to their opinion, as is this young(ish) man, but it need not be served up with attitude. A condescending rant is not the same thing as an honest opinion.

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  18. This kid is lecturing to people who've been having sex longer than he's been alive....

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  19. We all know of the president who had a bj. That same guy said, he did not have sex. Funny thing is, the younger generation at that time when surveyed said, oral sex is not sex. Seems to me that opened up a new sexual revolution. Oral sex became quite common with high school and college students.
    We all know that the divorce rate is very high. People are staying single to a later age. Unmarried couples are raising children. Woman are working and making money. They have a new independence. Pre-nuptials are commonplace, so, why not friends with benefits?
    There is one thing, though. Emotions. It just so happens when they kick in and they sometimes do, then the scene changes. If this guy is in his early twenties, he's not ready for the emotion trip, not yet. Around the age of 26 or so, that's when our outlook changes. We seem to settle down. The hormones are still there, but now they have some common sense.
    I have often thought that the books of sexual relations will be re-written Fortunately, that is happening. If friends with benefits is included, it would be as a life style choice and not an orientation.
    The fella mentioned that drugs, booze and not getting any is the reasons for friendly satisfaction. I would also think that there is plenty out there in this day and age. I would also think that he could call one of his dates. Sex is sex when there are nsa, no strings attached. It can be with a man or a woman. When it comes to a roommate, well, that's proximity. Close by. Closeness of any type usually brings an emotional thought.
    That's some of my thinking on this subject.
    I thank the guy for his letter. It's a new avenue for thought. Nothing like learning.
    bj

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  20. There is quite a bit of difference between not sharing every sexual encounter with a casual partner and informing a woman that you are also having sex with guys. You may want to pretend there is not an issue but I think everyone reading remembers that time in the not too distant past when people we knew died regularly from a disease we'd just found out existed. Yeah, yeah everyone should be safe all the time. But  most straight couples to do not live in fear of AIDS. Denial? Ignorance? Perhaps, but it's the reality for most and it usually works out okay. BUT, if a partner is regularly having sex with guys he has an  OBLIGATION to make sure his partner can protect herself. And if he intends on taking vows to forsake all others he needs to be honest up front. Period

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  21. ROTFLMAO!!! Guy who enjoy FWB's with male partners have been around for centuries, if not millenia.

    I can only agree with one statemant this writer makes: "We’re not teetering on the verge of homosexuality."

    BUT, I don't think Scott - or anyone else who posts comments here - has ever indicated that guys who enjoy giving/receiving the occassional blow job or hand job with a buddy is a Homosexual.

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  22. And, oh yeah... All of us guys over 30 know you "kids" think we're old. We thought the same thing when we were your age (funy how that works, huh?). But, don't worry young man - you'll be hitting your 40's before you know it. It's going to happen in the blink of an eye. And then, quite suddenly, you won't think it's "old."

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  23. MattB,

    I am sorry that I implied that you were part of the arrogant shit callers. I did not lump you in with them on purpose but I was in a bit of a rant. Please forgive em for such a lumping. I see your thinking on letting girls know you also play with guys.....I am not sure if people do it but I understand your thinking.

    Anon at 10:30...I think he is still honing his ranting skills!!! I ALWAYS give the benefit to the other person. I am hard to offend.

    The idea of homosexuality being a pit that has a verge is rather humorous to me.

    I also want to thank this young man for writing this message. It takes balls to be honest when people may jump on you (and not in a good way ;) for expressing your opinion.

    40 isn't old.....100 is

    DP

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  24. Someone looking for a fuck buddy is cool, but when they say looking for a FWB!!! One word comes to mind, BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!! "newbies", you better learn the difference.

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  25. I was really surprised by the negative comments on this guy. He's a young man, exploring life and sex and enjoying himself on the way. Maybe, at some point in the future, he will want to make a committment to someone and settle down; maybe he will not. He will, at least, have played the field and know what's on offer. From my own point of view, I'm only interseted in women when there's no decent cock available. I hate that expectation that just because I've fucked a cunt I should call round with flowers and take her out for dinner.

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  26. Anon @ 333
    With social skills like those I'm not surprised..LOL Womankind rejoice!!

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  27. Oops the c word, I think anonymous at 3:33pm, needs to be taught some manners... Bad dog, Bad.. Why that word??? you seem a little negative today..

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  28. You know Anon 333...the c word is every bit as offensive as the F word when used to describe a woman. You can call me just about anything else bit the level of misogyny indicated by that word is just as offensive as the homophobia you decry
    D

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  29. @DP

    Of course I accept the apology. Lumping forgiven. Seems this post has brought out some serious emotion. I dig a good rant. Now let's all get back to regular sexual stuff. I need a drink and a good cocksucker hehe

    MattB

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  30. That guy is older than me... and I still think he's an arrogant little twit filled with the over-inflated ego of youth.

    I bet he's fucking cute though. :D

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  31. I'm 26, and hate to say to this other 26 yr old, but his message is bullshit. I agree, he's not homo. But he's bi. How bi is another matter. It depends a lot on the dynamics of how the same-sex sex goes down, and how he feels about it. There are very straight guys out there who find the idea of sucking a cock stomach-churning. And when they say that, you can tell they aren't lying. This dude may not be "teetering on the verge of homosexuality", but he sure as hell ain't straight either. Science says he's an active bisexual. And I'll take the scientific term over whatever bullshit cover-up term happens to be in fashion this week: apparently, "FWB".

    So I'd ask a few questions:
    As a poster asked above, does he talk/feel as normal about it the same as he does about his straight sex? Why or why not?

    How much drugs/alcohol/blue balls are needed to get you in a suck off with a dude? Is it still a conscious decision? Would you do it without that stuff? Or is that stuff just the excuse to make you "ok" with doing it after the fact?

    Last, what exactly do you feel about the guy *when* he's sucking you off? Is he still a "friend", someone you care about as a buddy?

    -J

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  32. I thought that friends with benefits meant, that you payed something, that was the benefit.
    As far as older. The body may age, but the mind stays young!!!

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  33. Ok, I have had several hours to think about this carefully and I would like to restate my previous thoughts but this time with some brotherly love instead of a rant.

    I think it's cool the kid wrote to Scott and can talk about himself and his buddies openly. He's an honest guy and he is sharing something of value in his letter to Scott. Cudos to you kid, you got balls.

    This guy and his buddies are experiencing important and relevant shit and we should not judge or try to classify what it is they feel. How many guys do you know who can be this honest (outside of str8jocktalking2 that is)? Our society in general is so hung up on what is "right" and "wrong" and trying to give the "right" impressions. In reality we are all driven by very deep needs that we may not fully understand even ourselves.

    Truth is I'm kind of jealous the kid doesn't realize what he feels is not new. What the kid describes is as old as mankind itself. Cavemen felt it. Ancient Greeks, Roman, Egyptians, etc. felt it. And we feel it.

    So I'm happy the kid is trying to figure shit out. And although he doesn't realize yet that he's NOT an original thinker, that doesn't mean he isn't entitled to say what he feels. And being able to say what we think is what the blog is about, right?

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  34. hey peeps...he's 26...he ain't a kid! frankly, i'm surprised by the comments (some of them VERY funny). i didn't take offense. I would like to ally myself w/ amtop's comments. he's my hero! lol. no, seriously, i think he summed things up rather well. kudos oh great one.
    some of us certainly get our knickers in a twist. relax...it's summer...G&T's at my place...be there!
    cheers!

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  35. He's 26. He's sucking off his buddy. He's in deep denial.

    BTDT

    He's got a "gay friend" who directed him to Scott's blog. Or maybe, you know, he surfs gay porn and found it himself.

    Does he hit on guys when he's horny? Or just the ones he knows will go for it?

    We used to call it the "leg test" when I was his age. You're in a (straight) bar, talking to a guy, your leg presses up against his. It's crowded in the bar, so no big deal. If he presses back, he's yours. If he moves his leg away more than 3 times, you can give up on him.

    Works every time.

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  36. Funny, Scott, hasn't added his thoughts on the replies submitted.
    btdt, thanks for the info. Unfortunately, I don't go to bars, but I do go to the library. I'll give it a shot and a shout. What do you think of it.
    thanks.

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  37. I think Scott is out whacking off as he "reviews" reader photos. He hasn't been seen or heard of for 24 hours.

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  38. @8:15pm
    not sure how old you are...i'm 35. never had a name for it but you are spot on about the "leg test" as you call it. and indeed...it works EVERY time.
    cheers!

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  39. Why is it that bi guys, if we have to use that term, are always primarily in relationships with women and having occasional sex with men. Why do you never hear of guys in a relationship with a guy and occasionally having sex with women?

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  40. I'm sorry, I think he's a sanctimonious little prick.

    MM

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  41. @rugbysex I'm 50 and this was back in the early - mid 1980s. Glad to know I'm not the only one. Still works in 2011. Got to be a straight bar and the conversation has to initially not be about sex... you work up to that. And always claim that you either hardly ever do this or have never done it before.

    @8:23 As for the library - seems pretty forced - I mean it's not like your leg would naturally come into contact with another guy's leg in the library the way it would on a crowded bar stool

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  42. Guess what, this guy is gay and can't admit it which is really sad!

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  43. MattB....I have alcohol and a mouth

    DP

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  44. I have always said that we are all bi (I know, it upsets some of you)and have cocks that like attention. I was over twice this guys age before I got to taste cock so he is doing well.

    DP

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  45. this post made me hard instanly, and i have had several beers, Wow why can't I be 20yrs. younger, my fantasy is to get with a youger guy, wow the younger generation doesn't have the hang ups some older guys (37-45). Scott tell the reader thanks for letting you post his comment.

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  46. Too hung up on the labels here. Why do some people think a guy has to be straight or gay? It's a hell of a lot more complex than that. I guess if you don't see it as being more complex than that, you're lucky. Having a simple "one or the other" view of would make life life a lot easier, but also boring.

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  47. Well nobody better come here looking for booze...lol... been sober now 4 yrs, and (if I reach 12:am )7 days.... so anyone looking for FWB here, look some place else, but you can sit you hairy ass on my face, and I give you a great rimmer... that to me is your benefit..hehehehehehehehe

    SJ

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  48. Uh! All that was commented here... when something provokes such reactions it is at least a grey area... I agree with 11:31 pm -
    I think the obsession for labels and stereotypes is really boring. I consider myself as gay, mostly bottom, but I have had girls in different moments of my life (so, it wasn`t just something I`d do before coming out) and I do not feel identified with most of the stereotypes concerning Gay life. Nothing against it, it`s just me who won`t find any fun in going to Gay pubs and Night Clubs, working out at the Gym, going to the sauna to fuck (or be fucked by) just anyone who looks okay. Don`t misjudge me: I don`t think it is bad. I just don`t feel connected to it. I like and admire the ways of the gay world, I admire ways of making easy to have sex, cause I love sex and freedom.. We are billions of people, all unique, original, and life is a mystery. We want to be sure of what is coming next, but we are not. And frankly, this arrogant tone is rather an evidence of insecurity than that this guy is any prick we are not...

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  49. Hey some chick said @ 5:51...

    Well said! And I had the nagging fear that he was a little cock tease cutie myself. LOL

    @Rugby - I'll bring the lemons. Nothing like a G&T in the summertime.

    Mark from Pittsburgh

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  50. Oh I used to love G&T's, but it's with a lime isn't it, oh has it been that long...

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  51. limes or lemons...men or women...why choose? life's a great big banquet...mange, mange.
    cheers!

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  52. I'll drink to that..and have a nice Double Quarter Pounder Cheeseburger from McDonald's.. Now that's the ticked.. and then I'll have rugger for desert..heheheheh

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  53. Oh, if only I'd known that shopping at Ikea with another guy is the definition of gay sex. I thought it was 'friends with benefits' between two guys. He's so afraid he's 'teetering' that he can't embrace what he actually is. Denial really isn't just a river in Egypt.

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  54. SJ,

    CONGRATULATIONS and keep up the good work. I never acquired a taste for alcohol and have had a good life. Bro had drinking problems but numbers his success by the decades now. I have alcohol in the house because somebody left it here.

    I bet I would enjoy meeting you.

    DP

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  55. Thanks a million DP, yup I was heading down fast at the end, but I was "functional" alcoholic and pill popper" for many years.. Now if I could just control my addiction on looking at hunky dudes...lol....

    Great to hear about you brother doing a great job in his sobriety. I hope "one day at a time" to reach double digit sobriety..

    Again thank-you...

    SJ

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  56. This is for my good friend D,anymous at 4:52 PM in regard to you response to anonymous at 3:54 pm, yes your are so right the "C" word is just as offensive as the "F" word.

    So maybe we can all learn from the use of derogatory words and not use them.

    Thanks for setting him straight.

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  57. I am bisexual, I live with a "straight" roomie. We hook up. But he admits he's bisexual. The loser who wrote the message is in denial. He should stop sucking cock and start looking in the mirror to figure out who he is...

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  58. Why would ANYBODY suggest stopping sucking cock?

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  59. I am in total agreement with you buddy boy, anonymous at 11:29 am...Well said

    I take to sucking cock, like a duck takes to water..

    SJ

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  60. I would love to spend a night with that "cutie" that is getting that nice BJ. Nice everything on him, he looks young, but that is definitely a man's body..nice furry legs and butt, beautiful cock and balls. Like how he gently has his hand on the "suckers" head, Oh yes he's a looker allright, and though you can't see to much of the dude bobbing for apples, he looks handsome himself...

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  61. I totally Agree with This Reader. Anonymous talks really with No Respect.
    We Bi Men are not tempted by a Gay Life style, we do not Judge it at all, at least myself, and have Great Respect of all Gay Couples.
    But If You're Bi you like Both and if you're Really Bi and not just "Confused' or 'in the Closet' Yes.. it's TRUE: we Love Dating Ladies, and Fuck Around with Guys or MFM whenever the case calls for it..
    What's SOOO WRONG With That???? You Need to Get Spanked.
    And then get a big STRAIGHT COCK up ur ASS! And You'll be smiling again.
    Don't Be Bitter! lol Life can be Good and.. Free. Freedom of Relating to it, and not Conforming to a definite Choice, That's Getting Gays in a Ghetto! With All Respect!

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  62. I give head. But I'm straight. In other news I'm also richer than Bill Gates.

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