Friday, March 30, 2012

The Jerk Off

Some of my favorite vid clips are guys just jerking off. Not sure why.  Maybe cuz it’s like peeking in to the forbidden zone. Or maybe I just wanna compare techniques. Idk.  But if you watch there are some things that are common in every guy.
The Start Up – we all start with a slow easy motion
The Stare – we look at it like if we take our eyes off it it’s gonna get away
Overdrive – your hand slowly builds up enough speed to power 3 Indy cars.  At the same time.
The Lift – can anyone tell me why we lift our hips up as we’re about to cum?  Do we think our fist is gonna forget what to do?
The Agony – most dudes look like they’re fighting off the Orks of Mordor when they’re getting close to coming.  I, however, have the ever-distinguished monkey face.
The Head – after the first 2 or 3 squirts the head gets thrown back violently. That’s why its important to lay down when you spank it so you don’t crack a vertebrae.
The Eyes – roll back in our head in a way that would make Linda Blair proud
The Quiver – that’s the great thing about an orgasm. You don’t just feel it in your dick or nuts, you feel it all over. 

64 comments:

  1. Couldn't have described it beter myself. Hot pic too! So glad you're back Scotty!

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  2. And feeling it all over, makes you want to do it, again and again and again! It makes it even better when you do it with someone. Yes, man, that too makes it even better
    bj

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  3. Ah, what all man can't control, the infamous "monkey face", while "spanking the monkey" chocking the chicken", pulling the pud, snapping the carrot", "making the balls dance", "whacking off", beating off" catching your nut", "making some boybatter", "snug and tug"... Oh you want to know how I do it..? lmao..I'll be back "have to take care of business first".. geez where did I leave my cum rag...

    SJ

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  4. The Lift: This is an involuntary thrusting of the hips because nature is attempting to shove the head of the cock (as it shoots) as far into the vaginal canal as possible. That provides a shorter distance for our swimmers to go for fertilization of the egg.

    See, at that point our bodies don't really know our cocks aren't buried to the root in pussy, they just know the cum is blasting!

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  5. Scottie, don't forget the toe curl.

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  6. The "lift" (involuntary pelvic thrust) also tightens the muscles around the prostate gland, which helps to evacuate it. The prostate is the source of most of the fluid in cum - the sperm is added to the prostatic fluid when we cum. You can tone the muscles around your prostate - also known as pelvic floor muscles or kegel muscles to enhance your erections:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise#Sexual_function.

    Frequent and thorough evacuation of the prostate gland is thought to have health benefits, mainly decreasing the risk of prostate cancer. This is why stimulation of the prostate through anal penetration is practiced especially in some Asian cultures.

    So boys, what this all means is there are lots of good reasons for getting laid and jacking off.

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    Replies
    1. Anonomous Kegel Ecercise Function. I am trying to bring that site up with what you type in and can't find it.
      also, the guy in the pic has beautiful pecs, plus. I wonder how
      his Kegel is?

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    2. Buddy, just look up "Kegel exercise" at wikipedia.org. You'll find lots of good info.

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  7. Scott I know us dudes make some uncontrollable facial expressions, when we pop our banana, but ever since you told us you wife says you make the "monkey face" when you "nut" (and you gave us a visual in words) I can't get the pic out of my head, when a dude and I are in "overdrive" and slapping our meat to beat the band...

    There's something about a silly monkey face that brings intense laughter to the person watching..lmao.. but sometimes it gets me in trouble, the dude will say "what the hell you laughing about????" and I have to come up with some lame excuse, I can't say hell dude, you got the cutest ahhh, "monkey face".....

    lmno (laughing my nuts off) :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):

    Now I am going to get naked spread my legs, and do my "Linda Blair" impersonation.. Hope "Curious George" isn't watching..

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  8. That is one great looking dude having a great wank for himself, wow, nice hairy thighs, and with those "guns" he's giving the head of his cock a beating, and if big boy doesn't shut his eyes soon, they are going to be glued shut, I but some serious goo is going to come out of that monster meat, Oh did I tell you I am standing before him (you can't see me in the pic), but he's looking at my beefy butt.

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    Replies
    1. He also has some beautiful pecs. Real nice.
      bj

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  9. Scotty, careful, the real you came out in that post :-)
    I definitely enjoy this Scott's writing style MUCH more than the one that writes like a 6th grader. Stick to this one...the real one!

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  10. "vinnie" will forget all about jerking when i roll him up like a pretzel, all legs to jesus, spit in his hole, mount him and ride him around the rings of saturn.
    cheers!

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    Replies
    1. Can I get it on some of that?

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    2. Holy Mother of Jesus, Rugger I think I just nutted in my boxers,
      just by the visual alone.. didn't even touch myself, but I know
      if I went to the mirror right now the reminisce of the "monkey face"
      will still be there.

      SJ

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    3. there once was a man name Vinny,
      all beefy not skinny

      he love to get naked and pull his pud
      and he snapped his carrot with a great thud

      I would like to suck all of his ten toes,
      what do you expect I am a big mo

      by the looks of it he indeed has big balls
      and my he has to be over 6ft tall

      oh yes, look at him, his eyes are rolling around in his head,
      thank God he lying in his bed




      I bet when he lifts his butt we would see a nice hairy crack,
      man, that's what I call a nice midnight snack

      oh yes all Vinnie needs is a couple more good tugs
      then he can go to bed all nice and snug.

      off to bed beefy man, I hope you have sweet dreams,
      someday I hope we meet, we could make a great team..

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  11. I jerk off with a buddy who is straight. He doesn't know I'm bi. It would just make it uncomfortable for him if he knew (I think). I love our sessions. He loves them because he doesn't have to perform (his words) for his wife. We have 2 totally different techniques. I kind of lay back and enjoy my hand. He grunts and growls and beats it like he's going to kill it! It's honestly some of the best sex I have.

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    Replies
    1. I would say to your buddy, want me to demonstrate on you the way I do it.

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    2. Sometimes I think the stories coming in from readers are hotter than Scott's posts. Nothing personal Scotty. I just love the way men are free to discuss things here that they never would even with their closest friends.

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    3. Anonymous 7.53
      You can say to your j/o buddy that he should take the palm of his other hand and lightly place it over the crown. The sensation that will create when he starts getting close will be awesome. It's like a beautiful charge when you start getting close. It's a mind blower to me.
      I have always said, that getting off with another guy is awesome. It must be a guy thing. If your bodies are close to one another, and then, if touching, it's even better. It got even better as time went on. One time, I reached out as we started to come and I put my other hand on his arm and pressed. The energy is beautiful.

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    4. To Anonymous 02:19 PM: I agree, to jo with a bud is a special kind of closeness. I'll jo with you anytime man.

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  12. catching my nut, is better than any pain or anti-anxiety medication on the market. ahhhh, when that goo cums flying out, I feel no pain and my mind is thinking about nothing.. too bad it has a very short half life..:(

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  13. I have regular JO sessions with a buddy of mine. We're both married...happily. However we give each other something our wives can't. It's that man to man closeness only two men can share. We graduated from just JO'ing together to helping each other out. His hand on my cock is nothing like when my wife touches it and I have more explosive orgasams. Last week we joked about blow jobs....who knows, maybe that's next?

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    Replies
    1. I give you less than a month and you'll be in the 69 position with each
      of your mouths full of prime USA AAA ground beef.. and make sure you
      don't forget about his nuts.. no women can appreciate a dudes balls like
      another dude.. (and that's no April Fool's Joke)

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  14. Anon 2:47. Good to hear about you and your buddy. I thought I was the only one! My buddy is still married but I am divorced. Our J/O sessions are irregular but sure are fun because my bud gives a great hand job! Men know what men need better than women sometimes. BJ's are next! We've stopped at BJ's for now, but try a hot shower together! I'm getting hard thinking about it!

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    Replies
    1. Ward, and I'm getting hard thinking about what you said dude.

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    2. Anon: I guess we're hard together? LOL

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    3. Works for me, Ward. :-)

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    4. I'm gonna nut thinking about it ;)

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  15. Someone earlier said that that on this board we are friends and able to talk about things we can't discuss with anyone else. That's very true and I appreciate it.

    So here's something I need someone to help me understand. What is good about cock rings? Man, they look very painful to me. I would try it if I knew it wasn't painful and if someone I trusted told me there was something good about about them.

    wtf? Talk to me guys.

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    Replies
    1. I think under your pant they make your cock more prominent . And when you Jo I think it helps hold you back. Personally, I prefer to swing free.

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    2. I bought a leather one and I liked it, it made my cock look bigger, not that I need help. But as a true bi, i tried it with my girlfriend and she didn't like it!

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    3. It's just that I see all these guys on the internet with these c-rings, and I'm thinking I must be missing out on something fantastic. The only reason I would try it is if it makes the orgasm better. Otherwise, I don't care.

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    4. Buy one, they're not that expensive and see if you like it!

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    5. Oh man, strapping on a band or slipping on a neoprene ing is the first step to a vein-busting, glans-popping nut. Getting your ock as hard and fat as possible: that's what vascular constriction is about. Loss of feeling more than made up for by visual of the monster leaking pre between your thighs.

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  16. Hey guys....question. When you JO alone...do you taste your own cum? I do...dying to taste another guy's.

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    Replies
    1. Never, it grosses me out to think about it!

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    2. I tasted a small drop of it once out of curiosity. It didn't taste good to me. But I guess some people like it. I have also heard that the taste of it varies considerably depending on what you have eaten recently.

      Someone who knows more about it should answer our buddy Anon at 04:14.

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    3. hey - also - precum is much different than cum. I have tasted a drop of my own precum.

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    4. I love e taste of my cum and it is different every time. Part of the whole experience for me.

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  17. BTW... hat's off to Scotty for starting this discussion!

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  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. We're in the same suburban area.

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    2. U checked my profile anon 2:00? western suburbs bro!

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    3. Yep...western burbs here too.

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    4. u thinkin what i'm thinkin?

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  19. I'd like to see more of the guy who removed his comment.

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    Replies
    1. It's a stock photo bro, but I picked it because it resembles my mid section and hair:)

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    2. If u look like that, you look very good.

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  20. There's something that I was just thinking about. All the things that we guys do together. Besides running and fishing, hunting, ball playing, basketball, soccer, rugby, swimming and weight lifting and even showering together after a workout. All of those guy things. Yet, jerking off is certainly a guy thing and we do that alone, mostly.
    There is something that I have learned since reading this blog from a while back. I look at guys now as sex objects. When I stand on line at a supermarket, or a gas station, or at some of the dept stores and I see a guy, I wonder, can he be made? I guess, if I had an opportunity to slowly unzip him, I would have had my way and he would have had the pleasure of pleasure. I wonder if he would unzip me.
    When you are out and about today, or tomorrow, give a guy that guy you are looking at, a thought

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    1. Hell I was at Duncan Doughnuts the other day, and this dude was in line in front of me, work boot, jeans, leather jacket, very manly, hell, very low and in a discreet way, I said "woof", and he looked around to see where it came from, I just had this innocent look, like what are you looking at me for, and he was cool about it, I took a chance on getting a "black eye"but I think he was flattered, I love checking out dudes, but I freaking go crazy in the summer, dudes with hairy tree trunk thighs, they will be the death of me yes. lol....

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  21. Well Anon 8:28, good point but some of us guys do have a J/O partner as well.

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  22. To Anonymous Apr 2 08:28 AM: I certainly respect your opinion, but just because a couple of guys (or more) jo together I don't think that means they are necessarily each others' sex objects. I mean, if that's what you're looking for, then that's cool. But I think a lot of us guys jo together just because we're guys and we like to jo and why do it alone if don't have to? You know, kind of like going out for a beer - what's the fun in doing that by yourself if a buddy or 2 will join you?

    Different "strokes" for different folks I guess. LMAO!

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    Replies
    1. I like that men are becoming a lot more open about just jacking together. I may b gay, but I don't need physical contact to get turned on. Open-minded sharing is the way f the future.

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  23. Man, i am missing out. How i wish to have a bud that I can also JO with? How do u have these buds?? Any tips? Help anyone? : )

    Tapper

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    1. I can't explain it. With me we were friends first. You know how guys think about and talk about sex. My buddy and I were drinking one night and it just "happened." By that time we had become pretty good friends and were comfortable with each other. It didn't come as a complete surpise as my buddy was way more sexually active than me, with women, and was not only comfortable with sex but with himself and did not fear trying new things. Fun ever since.

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    2. Thanks ward. Will keep that in mind in our next drinking session, whenever that will be. But I am just too chicken shit to initiate it. I guess i will find me buddies who are way more comfortable with sex than me. I am usually so uptight and tend to over analyze , over thinking things even the sex with my wife. ;) Will see what happens. I had a good friend, we no longer are, a former model, i almost thought at one point we were already intimate friends that jacking off together on some porn movie is in our future, but naah it didnt happen, to think that we were already sleeping on the same bed, when i crash at his place after a drinking session! Hahah. Nobody initiated. He didnt. I didnt. I will probably die a "virgin" in the messing-with-guys category. Lol.

      Tapper (hi scott!)

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    3. Tapper: There's hope for you yet. You sound like me. I did (as in past tense) the same things but I found I just needed a push and some understanding friends (male and female) Are you the same anon6:42 that lives in the Philly burbs? If so, let's meet for that drink. Hang in there bro!

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    4. @ward: thanks bro. Unfortunately, am not the anon that lives in the Philly burbs, but would sure like to meet for that drink if and when I find myself somewhere near Philly though. In the meantime, will hang in there and hope that somehow I will have one of the buddies I can also JO with. ;)

      Tapper

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  24. I think there are lots of us Anonymous dreamers ...in the Philly burbs.

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  25. Still waitin for the anon in Philly earlier to reply. Let's meet for drink dude, exchange notes (you're not hte guy from Berwyn that contacted me earlier are you?) See what comes up!

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    Replies
    1. Hey ward, this is tapper, yup, not the anon from Philly yet, but how do I contact you?

      Tapper

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    2. Still new to this Tapper. I think I enabled my profile to show my e-mail. Let me know!

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  26. http://str8balls.tumblr.com/
    http://str8gif.tumblr.com/

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