Sunday, March 11, 2012

Who Do We Piss On

Observationally, here’s what I’ve learned:
Straight women love gay men
Straight men love gay women when their having sex with other gay women, but not when they beat them in a game of hoops
Gay women love other gay women, and they like straight women but think their choice of sexual partners is fucked up
Straight women like gay women in this whole sisterhood thang
Straight men are warming up to gay men but have a long way to go before they feel like they can be friends with a gay man without having their sexuality called into question
Bi men, by definition, like everyone
I have no idea if there’s such a thing as a bi-woman, but if there is, I’m sure she’s pretty popular – especially on weekends!
Gay women are still trying to figure out exactly what purpose straight men have on the planet that a dildo and sperm bank can’t fill
Straight women like straight men because we fill them up in the bedroom and they can run our lives outside the bedroom
Straight men love straight women.  But only the one’s who get us off.  Unless we’re drunk.  Then really any of them make us happy. 
Gay women like straight women but don’t understand why they don’t get it. 
Gay men for the most part have me baffled.  Some like other gay men as long as they meet their notion of what a gay man should be.  If he doesn’t he’s a queen or a bitch or a flamer or god knows what else.  Some gay men like straight men, partly from a sexual perspective (insert cherry ass joke here), partly from a how-can-we-be-built-so-much-the-same-but-like-such-different-things perspective.  I gave up on the whole gay man/bi man relationship long ago! I mean I always thought it was like the relationship between blue and aqua but from this blog I realizes some blue’s don’t even recognize the existence of aquas!  

30 comments:

  1. LOL! Great observations, Scott! This should bd published in the New York Times!

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  2. When we stereotype and generalize, we end up pissing on ourselves.

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  3. See, that didn't take log, now did it? You just earned your PhD in relationships 101! ~ GaySatyr

    P.S. PhD = Piled high & deep!

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  4. Straight men love when gay men open their mouths wide and take straight men cock into mouth, and make a deposit but no return..

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  5. How about that hot stud of a quarter back, Sanchez being signed by the Colts for another four years? I'll bet that he is straight and admired by gay women and straight women and bi men and bi women and straight men, and certainly by gay men.

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  6. Ah, tell "pretty boy" Sanchez to get some meat on his bones, and then maybe us "bi" guys will give him a twirl.. We like them beefy and burly...

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  7. Scott's attempt at deep thinking...Ahhh, do you have a headache yet, Scott?????

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  8. Good to have you back - missed you.

    Married bi-guy here (who loves other married bi-guys, and mass gay guys and....)

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  9. oooooo, anonymous, March 11, 6;05 pm, how about unmarried bi guys from Mass.. because I love you married "straighties"..

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  10. You may have given up, but the yearing will never go away. never. In the right time and the right place, hormones take over. Trust me when I say,the ones that I remember are the ones that I let get away. We go through this life but once.
    I'm not certain what u mean by blues and acqua's. one may not mix with the other, but they know that they exist, if that is what u mean.

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  11. OMG, I have given head to so many married married "STR8" dudes, and after they got their "nut off" this is what they say to you, "ahhhh, remember this was just a one shot deal, I have never done anything like this before" .... and I just agree, because I know they will be back in about 2 weeks (sometimes less), and "THEY" are back,... rinse and repeat..

    Ah those straight men, can't live with them or without them...they are too funny...

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  12. There is something about a bj that gets to your very core. Once you have had one, you want another, and another, and another. I remember one married guy who was so horned up, that I thought that the man in the moon would hear his erotic moans. That guy had said to me, now, I am stress free. That's another reason to get a bj. Relieve the stress. And damn, it also feels soooooo gooooood!

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  13. I like the grunt they make, right before they cum, and how their eyes go cross-eyed, but once they shoot, they shoot right out of here.. back to wifey-poo, or gf, so they can be feed their dinner.

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  14. ok first and most importanly sanchez signed with the J-E-T-S Jets Jets JETS.

    second ya, i overexpended myself. now back to my coloring books lol

    3rd ya, u guys r right. we're pretty much pigs who want/need head and ya its a bonus when we dont have to rtn it and a double bonus when dude swallows. my guess is 90% of straight guys who look for it from men either dont get head at home or its a weak effort

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  15. I may not always agree with you or approve of what you say but you are absolutely the funniest man in the blogosphere.

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  16. I will give credit for straighties for this, they will warn you that they are going to cum, (I think they learn that early on when having a women give them head, because if they nut out in her mouth, he's more than likely going to get in spit right back in his face) unlike most gay gays we clamp down on that piece of meat even more, and man do we take the gooey surprise with PRIDE.. we have done our job once again.

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  17. Why can't we just take all the labels away? Why can't people (men/women) have desires for other people (men/women) and just leave it at that?

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  18. Okay, so almost everybody else goes Anonymous and because I do live to fit in, I will too. My comment is, anonymously: Hilarious!

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  19. What I really want to know is did Scott come up with "observationally" all by himself or did he have help? My vote is he had help lol

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  20. Scott said,
    90 per-cent of the str guys guys don't get it at home, or it's a weak effort. I think that he should have typed, week effort. Scottie, getting head from a guy will, in time, let him get more from you!
    p.s. If it didn't feel so good, you wouldn't do it, coloring book or not. I wonder what you are drawing?

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  21. here's my thoughts on bi
    If a guy is married and fools with other women and then fools with men, he is bi. If a guy is married and just fools with other men, then he ain't bi. He may claim to be bi, but I don't think that is the case. Anyone want to add to this?

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    1. I'm gay, I identify as gay, I live my life as as a gay man. However, I've slept with women in my life. Does that make me Bi? Nope. So I tend to agree with you.....if you're married to a woman and only fool with men, that doesn't necessarily make you bi either. Sexuality is more complicated than that.

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    2. That depends. A married dude may have his female attraction satisfied at home. But you make a point that if all the fascination is directed towards men with little attraction to women or thoughts of sex with women, you’re right, the guy may have tipped over into gay. Sexual orientation isn’t as immutable as some would have us believe. And these dudes are playing with fire. The forbidden fruit can easily become the only fruit that sustains and what do they do then?

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  22. And the everyman loves the Scott-man. What up, Scott. Straight girl representing.

    And hey, Anon at 08:06 PM - "I think they learn that early on when having a women give them head, because if they nut out in her mouth, he's more than likely going to get in spit right back in his face" you know some guys are into that, right? :D

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  23. here's something that I want to share that will make you horny, maybe.
    Today, I had an exam and all went well. Before leaving the hospital, I stopped at the bathroom to wee the urinal. When I was washing my hands, this guy walks in. He about 5'11" crew cut, 170 and definetly has a bulge. I checked him out in the mirror. I continued washing my hands. When I turned to get some towels, I glanced his way. When I use the urinal, I unzip and bring out willie wonka. This guy, was unzipped, unbuckled, and the his jeans were folded outwards. It was like the entire flap was open so he could bring it out. He was holding it with both hands. Oh man, did I wish that he would have turned towards me. He was very easy on the eyes! How lucky that urinal was, as is the guys in the picture, that is, if you like it that way.
    i sure woujld have liked to give that guy an exam. It would have been free of charge!
    p.s To the chick. I don't think that wives do their hubby all the way. That's not what they are looking for. Their pleasure is to ride that baby, not do it to completion. That my chic, is a guy thing. It's like being a chef. You prepare it and season it and enjoy.

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    1. Anon @ 4:10, If you're a one and done kind of guy, you're right...most women aren't gonna be too happy about getting you off and being left high and dry....But if you have more than one in you, she might surprise you..Maybe you're hanging out in the wrong places.

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  24. I wonder if we are going to have a guest for St.Patrick's Day?

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  25. Oh yes, the "green eyed monster" :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):) just be careful when the monster gets mad, it's venom is very very strong.

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  26. Yowzaa, yowzaa, where does Scott get these pics??! Great entry, great pic, Scott, you da man.
    Artful1

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  27. http://str8balls.tumblr.com/
    http://str8gif.tumblr.com/

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