Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Where Do You Draw The Line?


When I was in college my buddy’s roommate wanted to be a sociologist.  I remember this cuz I had no fuckin idea what that meant.  But now (20 years later!) I think I know.  So here’s my shot at understanding social behavior. 

Let’s take my group of friends.  A group of guys who’ve known each other a pretty long time and do a lot of stuff toghgter.  The last word in the world to describe us would be metrosexual.  We definitely fit more in the neandrathal category lol. We talk about sports. We don’t talk about feelings.  We like it that way. We’ve all seen each other naked and I guess the first time you kinda look but after you seen somebody naked a few times its not that big a deal ya know? We don’t compare dick sizes. We don’t have side conversasations that lead to sex.  And there’s zero sexual tension cuz no one really gives a shit with anything that anyone else does in bed. 

So why am I telling you this?  Between the 10 of us, we have:
- said to each other “I love you” and meant it
-         worn each others underwear
-         discussed our top JO fantasies
-         kissed
-         seen each other naked many times
-         watched each other piss
-         sat naked in a hot tub

So, how exactly does gay male behavior differ from straight male behavior?

48 comments:

  1. If you get 10 gay men with the same history as yours, chances are pretty good a percentage of them have had sex together and are still friends. It was just sex - it felt good and didn't change the friendship.

    But in your circumstance I'm pretty sure you've had sexual thoughts about your buddies and kept them to yourself. I'm willing to bet out of the other 9 guys at least one other has had the same thoughts. Just my not so humble opinion. :-)

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  2. I second that thought and BTW Scott, I think it's great that you have a tight group of friends, men need that,regardless of orientation or labels. When it comes down to it - it's Male Behavior, plain and simple.

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  3. The line is usually drawn when you start seriously lusting after your friends or actually have sex with one of them. Another tip off would be when your male friend start occupying more of your fantasies than his wife, no matter HOW hot she might be to your other friends

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  4. As you rightly suggest, not much difference Scott. It's just that we take it a step further and actually suck on one or more of those cocks.. where you've been heading and maybe a little further in that we idenitfy that this is the type of sex we would prefer to have... with other guys.

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  5. Can I be the token gay man in your group? :)

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  6. OldBob says:

    Sex. Sex is the difference

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  7. I think that line might be crossed when one man licks another man's butt and LIKES it...
    Artful1

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  8. Speaking as a gay male seems you are a gaggle of gays without the friction of body contact to orgasm. Can we get pictures of these activities of you and your friends? And what's up with wearing each other's underwear? That is def a str8 guy thing! Just kidding.

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  9. When it comes to being "Friends" I don't believe there is any difference whatsoever. A group of true friends - regardless of sexual orientation - can do all you've mentioned and not stray into the realm of engaging in sexual activity.

    Big difference between Friends With Benefits, or Fuck Buddies, or J/O Buds, or whatever you wish to label it and Just Plain Friends.

    I've got fairly tight group of friends and yes, we kiss each other in greeting and parting, we've said "I love you" and meant it, we've seen each other naked, we've discussed all kinds of sex, we've been naked in hot tubs, we've seen each other take a piss...

    and we've never had any sexual encounters between us. I know this for a fact, because if it HAD happened we all would have talked about it. THAT'S probably the difference. Gay guys would admit it, str8 dudes wouldn't.

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  10. Scott, I think the difference can be summed up in a single word "LUBE." You put lube into any of the scenarios that you've mentioned, then at least one guy is going to be putting his cock into an orifice of one of the other guys. In a more broader way of saying this, you guys all have your personal space and while that might be small, since you've known each other for a while, it doesn't include any appendix (cock, tongue, finger) entering into an orifices (mouth, ass) of one of the other guys.

    On a separate note I'd love to hear how your experimenting with guys is having any impact, if at all, on your relationship with your friends. Your opening yourself up in a sexual way to other guys, but not to your friends, I'm just wondering if this is letting you be a bit freer with your friends, or more reserved. Also there is the strong probability that at least one of the other guys is having the same curiosity with guys as you are, maybe more.

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  11. curious if you have shared your top "truthful" jack off fantasies with this group of good friends??

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  12. Scott,
    I would like to know what your sexual j/o fantasy, that you mentioned. Also, what were your friends j/o fantasy. Can't wait for a straight dudes fantasy.
    I also agree with amtop. You can bet that one or more of yours friends has the same curiousity. More and more are crossing the line. Just check out cl. You even see younger guys express, 'Curiosity." Things are changing, and so are the times.
    Thanks Scott for your answers. Fantasy is wonderful.
    Must add, I have fantasized about you more than once in the wee hours of the morning and when my eyes opened and I was at attention. I offered it up for Scott.

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  13. The social interraction is the same but diverges with gay/bi men if there is the slightest hint of sexual interest. Then it is all a game changer. I go away with my buddies -- we are similar to how you described the interraction with your friends - sort of -- we've never exchanged udnerwear, kissed and rarely discuss JO fantasies. since most of us are either married or divorced, our time is more limited and conversations veer more toward the kids, affording tution, etc., Your group seems pretty tight and more open than others I know of.

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  14. I'm Bi not gay, but I still don't want to wear your underwear.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, really what is up with that, wearing each others underwear?

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  15. I'd like to wear his underwear and he can wear mine. I would also like to slide his underwear off of him. It would take me a while, but it sure would be nice.

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  16. Seems so simple... the difference is We Gay Guys like ass pounding sex. I doubt your friends would bend over or be the one topping.

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    Replies
    1. Queer Heaven,
      You are very healthy, my son!

      Delete
  17. Scottie, I love ya bro but you gotta quit worrying about the labels dude! Forget gay, bi, straight. We're all guys. We all want sex. I would bet at least 1/3 of the 10 guys in your group have had what most people would label a "homosexual" experience. And I bet most of the rest of your 10 guys have come pretty close. And Scottie, you're one of those guys, dude! So that kind of proves what I'm saying, right? Go with it bro. You're cool.

    And for all you guys who read and post on this blog who consider yourselves to be 100% gay, listen up bros. Don't believe all the guys in the world who tell you they are 100% straight. They are not! They are not telling you the truth. They only tell you that because they think they have to say that to be real men. Bottom line is that all men have at least some attraction to other men. Some have more than others.

    It's all good. :-)

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    Replies
    1. So anon at 6:36, by your reasoning, if ALL str8 guys aren't 100% str8 then all gay guys aren't 100% gay, correct? Most people have at least contemplated having sex with the same gender. Far, far, far fewer would ever act on it. Therein lies the difference.

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    2. Hey Guy,
      You have hit it right on the head. Right on!

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    3. I agree with all of that. Like you said, I think most people have at least contemplated having sex with the same gender, but fewer have acted on it. I think there are some guys who are pretty close to 100% straight and some guys pretty close to 100% gay, but I think the vast majority of guys are more in the middle of that spectrum.

      But I'm not sure there's a HUGE difference between acting on same sex attraction as opposed to just thinking about it. I mean sure there's a difference in the intensity of the drive, but the thoughts are the same aren't they? And it could be that the guy just contemplating was raised in a conservative religious home and thinks he'll burn in hell if he acts on his impulses, whereas the guy who actually does act on his impulses felt he could because he was raised by more open minded parents. Those 2 guys could have had exactly the same thoughts and feelings I think. The difference is that one of them was intimidated.

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    4. I think it has far more to do with the strength of the desire, whether it be a passing thought to burning need and everything in between, that determines whether someone acts on it much more than conservative parents. Most people wonder about it if for no other reason than to rule it out.
      People who are compelled to act on the desire despite a tremendous downside (for example, someone married) are likely driven by more than mere curiosity

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  18. Whacattack guy, you're a great guy, but I have to disagree with what you said: "Gay guys would admit it, str8 dudes wouldn't."

    Here's the REAL deal: confident, secure men would admit it, but guys who are insecure would not admit it. It has nothing to do with gay/bi/straight. It has to do with self awareness.

    But I respect your opinion buddy.

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  19. I can think of two funny things about Scott's comments today;

    1. His friends all consider him the gay one, and they don't know how right they are.

    2. All of his other friends have been having sex with one another for several years and have excluded Scott, because they thought he wouldn't like it.

    Also about the underwear, is this new clean underwear your trading back and forth or are they being worn just before the trade? Clean underwear, no big deal, used underwear, now that's gay.

    And about the kissing, if it's a "good to see a friend peck on the cheek kiss," then not gay. It it's lip to lip, maybe some tongue action, seeing how it feels to kiss a guy versus your wife/girlfriend, still not necessarily gay, but does put you on the road to gayville.

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  20. Asshole play is not just a gay thing. All men are turned on by sensation in:

    their dicks,
    their nipples,
    and their assholes.

    It's not a cognitive process. It's a reflex. It's wiring. Doesn't matter if:

    a woman plays with your asshole,
    a man plays with your asshole,
    a chimpanzee plays with your asshole,
    a machine plays with your asshole,
    or you play with your own asshole.

    Having your asshole stimulated is going to feel good.

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    Replies
    1. Another one who hit it right on the head.

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  21. - worn each other's underwear
    - watched each other piss

    how does this come up in your group of friends? Do you mean you've seen each other piss (out of the corner of your eye, camping, what ever) or actually watched each other? I think there is a difference for sure!

    the rest of it (actually all of it) is just healthy friendships. Comfortable with each other, really caring for the other person and not being afraid to show it.

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  22. I guess I hit the lottery when I was pickin friends. I've got 4 really good buds that I hang out with. I've sucked all of them, been fucked by and fucked 3 of them, had a 3way with 2 and their wives and 1 is still a fuck buddy. The other 3 are married and we haven't messed around in a long time and our friendships haven't suffered. I wouldn't give up this group of guys for anything! We love each other like brothers! We've seen it all and done it all.

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  23. - worn each others underwear

    Still makes no sense.

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    Replies
    1. Happens all the time with with guys who are jocks and guys who live together. College age guys for example living in a house together. They all need clean clothes, but none of them do any laundry. So they will wear shirts and pants and even socks over and over again. But they do want clean underwear. So when they need a pair of clean underwear, they know they haven't laundered their own, so they'll look all over the house in their friends' rooms, dressers, gym bags, etc. for a pair of clean underwear.

      I have to college age boys who live in houses with other guys. This is the way it works. I'm sure it carries over past college age and becomes a habit for some guys, especially jocks. It's not unusual at all.

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  24. It's only gay if you look into his eyes... :P

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  25. I think that Scott has a very close group of friends. I also suspect that his friends have been with him a long time. A very long time, which is good. We wish the best for you Scott.

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    Replies
    1. Agree. Scott is a lucky guy to have many close friends, especially that live close enough he can get together with them and spend time with them.

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  26. I just took a venture to the right and clicked on Loki's Log and then went to cocks and asses and clicked on that. There is a video there, watched it. It's frigging awesome. Two guys going at it, doing one another, rimming and one guy being screwed, you can see the juice seeping out of him. The other guys tops twice and comes twice. It's and education flick on how to do it and do it right. Get some popcorn. Or, pop your corn.

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  27. I held off writing for a while to see what the other regular contributors to this blog would say. There were some thoughtful replies and some smarmy ones and the usual horn dogs chimed in, as was expected. But when you have a close group of guys like Scott is describing you have one thing missing - sexual tension. With emphasis on the word "tension." It is just that. And when you're relaxing you don't want that. Whether you're naked or with guys or girls or you name it. Now on the inside someone may be lusting, but to break that barrier and introduce that lust would cause tension.

    My 2 cents!

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  28. Sorry but straight guys don't wank off together and do the things you say. However there is a gay bit in all of us and especially when a few drinks have been consumed horse play does sometimes lead to groping etc. When two young guys share a bed it does (I know from experience)very often involve mutual masturbation, lots of guys I have shared a bed with although to all intents and purposes are 100% "straight" , the next day and forever with most after these happenings it is never even mentioned. And the old one about being wanked off in ones sleep and not even remembering it is the oldest fairy tale too. But why do labels have to put on it?.

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    Replies
    1. If what you say is true, then almost every guy I've ever known is "gay" by your definition because there is a lot of wanking goin on out there.

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  29. time for scottie boy to bare all!

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  30. Oh, what a nightmare that would be

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  31. Scott you're so naif.
    With my gay friends I can talk about:
    -my feelings
    -interior design
    -culture, literature, art
    -clothes and mode
    -beautiful male celebrites
    -...GAY PORNOGRAPHY!

    Can you do the same with your str8 friends? ;)

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  32. SCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I, need my fix!!!!!
    We, need our fix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You horny devil, you.

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  33. I'm not exactly sure how this fits into the discussion, but it just seems to me like it does.

    "Brothers don't necessarily have to say anything to each other- they can sit in a room and be together and just be completely comfortable with each other." -- Leonardo Dicaprio

    Thanks to all of you guys - straight, gay, bi (or whatever the fuck you are - for being my bros.

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    1. Be assured, Leonard Dicaprio, sitting in a room with his brothers, he has something in mind. Bodies together, don't turn the mind off, those beautiful bodies turn the mind ON! Sad but true, Leonardo, had his day in the sun, or was it the ocean.
      I compliment him. For his time doing Titatinc, he was paid, poorly. After that, he wanted 20 million per film and he got it. Well deserved, maybe. just goes to show you that liberal artists get screwed by liberal producers. On the downside, I have not seen him in a movie, since the ship went down, and don't care to.

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    2. Question,
      Is Leonardo, you know what I mean. Does he? From what I heard, he has a nice ship, or is it a boat?

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    3. I guess that he has had another nervous break-down.
      Will check back in 2069.

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  34. It doesn't. Only difference is the desires that we have for the same sex and the desires u have for the opposite. Other than that, we are by far superior!
    p.s. You would not slide your friends underwear down around his str ankles, but I would!

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  35. The difference is when you put your penis in your friends mouth. lol

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